Well, I guess I am going to confess something a little different from the "usual" topics here...
I wish my life to be the way that it is right now.
I wish each relationship I cultivate to expand like a balloon. Then I want to release each balloon from my small hand, and watch it discipate into the atmosphere.
I wish a to continue to understand each individual in my life without prejudice.
I want to finish college this year.
I wish to join the peace corps.
I wish to be an international aid worker.
I dream of being a wife.
In my gym class is the hottest guy in the whole school. He plays all the sports, is intelligent, and is tall dark and handsome. I am a gay and when we shower after gym class I stare at his perfect butt and large penis. I just want to grab it one day and maybe put my mouth around it. Feel him up and masterbate him and then have him funk me out!
I would love to get in a sword fight with my arch enemy and get run-through in front of a thousand cheering women.
Names have been changed to protect the slutty people in this TRUE story. I am fairly addicted to sex. I watched porn from the time I was 13 or so. My Dad had movies in the basement, Debbie Does Dallas, Nina Hartley movies, etc. I guess my portrayal of women has to do with a lot of going to an all-male high school and seeing women do nothing but screw on videotape. From that period forward I wanted to do absolutely nothing with women but to fuck their brains out. I am different now, I have adjusted. But I still love porn, especially the JM productions Young And Anal series and the Max Hardcore movies. Also, the Cherry Poppers series, and I really want to see the young starlets that are featured in movies distributed by directvideoanddvd.com and sensations.com. The younger the better, with braided pigtails, braces, glasses, and pierced tongues and lips (you know how they make a piercing look like a mole with the stud, like Marilyn Monroe? OOOOOOH yah!!! I want to shoot my load in their mouths and have them squeeze my cum out of their piercing holes, and swish it around in their mouth and drink it!!!) AS LONG AS THEY ARE NINETEEN AND LEGAL (disclaimer).
Ever since I met Jason I have slept so much better being in his arms.. I really wish he would divorce his wife Wynn because I want him all to myself... I am a master game programmer, and enjoy being the leader... I just wish I could program Jason to fulfill my every desire, and be his leader!
Last night was the best night I have ever had... How Jason made love to me was remarkable...!
My girlfriend and I were on our way back to Denmark from one of our annual shopping trips to Germany....before we went there we agreed that I would drive all the way to germany and then her back home again ( A chance for me to enjoy some beers on our way home).
Well one hour and 3 beers after we had left Germany I was starting to feel the beers filling my bladder and suggested that we could stop at gas station so that I could relieve my self...Sara (my girlfriend) agreed and said she would take nearest exit from the freeway. So I just had to hold it 10 more minutes and I could manage that...My BAD Luck!! There had been a huge accident on the freeway not far from the exit and we drove rite into a huge line of cars. We were STUCK IN TRAFFIC. The radio speaker announced that there had been an accident on freeway E45 and it would take aproximatly 45 - 1 hour to clean it up and for traffic to start moving again. I said to Sara that I already had to go pretty bad and that there was no way i could hold it that long, she looked at me and said sorry Honney u have to try your best.
10 minutes after... the first spasm hit me I held my breath and sat straight up in the car seat and started banging my legs togheter.. the spasm eased ..Sara suggested that I unbottoned my pants to ease the pressure ..So I did.
Sara leaned towards me and kissedme ..all of sudden a new spasm hit me and I had to grab my cock and give it a hard squeze . Sara pulled my hand away from my cock and took over the squezing herself she pulled it out in the open and started to stroke it gently and tried to get it erect....I started to moan softly of pleasure mixed with a bursting feeling..I dont why but i just wouldnt get erect and felt another spasm coming....Sara I almost shouted: grab it tight!! grab it tight!!! she pinched my foreskin and I started to squirm wildly and suddenly stiffened up closed my eyes for a moment. meanwhile; Sara was working on my cock.. I looked at hear and could see that she was aroused by this..she said that she liked to give me a blowjob I said I would love to get one..but it was risky since I wasnt erect and I'd probably would burts in her mouth..she said that was risk she was willing to take ..she sunk down in her seat and stared to circle my dickhead with her toungue...OOOh god Sara baby I cant hold it much longer. she looked up and said ..do what u have too ..but just hold it..Sara I have to move around I cant sit still anymore...she started to suck me even harder....pls dont make me cum I'll wet my self if u do.
50 minutes had past
Sara stop!! they are giving signs outside for us to start drive. Sara turned back in her seat and started the car. Ok honney let us find a place for u to go ...it only 10 minutes away.. I was sitting with my cock in my hand and desparatly pinching my skin when the last spasm hit me I bent over with one hand pinching my foreskin and the other grabing on to the seat in an effort to hold back my pee I looked down at my cock with tears in my eyes.. sucking in air heavily.. squirming about in the seat..still looking at my cock to see a light stream of pee running down my dick. desperatly trying hold back with all my power but small spurts keep coming....Honney!! let it all go!! Sara says : dont worry bout the car ...and so I did.
I have a real problem with daydreaming. I often invent entire complex scenarios - oftentimes with people I know as characters - in my mind. It's very time consuming and I often get angry with myself for such a non-productive habit. When I told my fiancee about them, he told me that they seemed to be all about recognition in some way. I'll be a fire fighter saving a small child, or an expert spy, or a great airplane pilot, the best singer accepting an award, the greatest scientist, etc. etc. Sometimes the fantasies are so vivid that I think I should start writing fiction based on some of the stories.
I worry that I may have a real problem though. My real life seems drab and ordinary in comparison. (It reminds me of that Tracy Chapman song "Ordinary Life" "Can't run fast enough, can't swim, can't fly - I'm struggling with the limits of this ordinary life...") Sometimes it takes a real effort for me to snap out of it and come back to planet Earth. I think I do this more when I'm depressed as a form of escapism. It's sometimes difficult for me to stay in the moment and realize each minute as it ticks past.
I think I need to stay in the moment more though. I know fantasies have their places and certainly dreams are what inspire us to become what we are not. But I don't want to end up spending my entire life in never never land. I think it will require practice. Perhaps I should keep a journal of all the times I slip into Walter Mitty Mode (as I've been known to call it). It may help.
The other thing I'm worried about with myself is that I feel terribly lonely all the time - even though I have a fiancee. I find myself compulsively checking e-mail during the day to see if anyone has written and I feel down when I find my e-mail box empty (as it usually is aside from Spam). I think this is because I do spend so much time in relative isolation. My fiancee works a lot. Most of my friends live in other cities and I'm usually studying so much that I don't really get out to meet new people. Still - I wonder if "meeting new people" would make a difference. I often feel depressed even after I've met with friends...
I often feel lonely in a crowded room. I don't feel a connection to most people and I think the only person who really understands me is my fiancee.
Even those who supposedly "know" me come up with weird analysis of what I'm supposedly thinking or feeling that is way off the mark. It makes me feel like such an alien.
I've been having some really strange dreams lately and need some help interpreting them. The wierd part is, I'm starting to fantasize about it. I havn't told anybody 'cause they will think I'm nuts, so here goes.
I dreamt that my wife somehow (pursuaded or forced me) got me to a stage/auditorium in nothing but a blindfold and gag. My arms and legs were tied behind me and I was tied to a wall of some kind. There were a bunch of roudy women all raising their hands like kids who had to use the bathroom. My wife was next to me, pulling numbers from a hat. She would call out a winner who would then come up on stage. In front of me were all kinds of "tools" that they could use on me - whips,razors, Q-tips, Icy Hot, clamps, clothes pins, rubber bands, rope, lighters, Nair,etc. Anything you could imagine. They would each get a turn to torture me anyway they wanted for a minute, with the rest of them chearing it all on. One would shave my genitals and one would rub Nair all over my body. Another would kick me in the balls until they swelled. One would tie rubber bands around them until they turned purple. Another was sticking Q-tips down my shaft. My wife would just stand there and watch and laugh. I wake up just before one of them starts to castrate me!
It was like some kind of club where they each brought a man each time for the others to "have their way" with him. (Like a battered womens get revenge on a man gathering.) Once there, he would never say a word to anyone for fear of embarassment or fear that it might happen again. Each time I had the dream, there were more women there.
The really strange thing is, I now fantasize about being overtaken by a bunch of my wifes friends who wanted to inflict pain on me. It would be a thrill to see them have so much power over me and have so much fun doing it. I know it sounds sick, so please help me interpret my dream so I don't end up doing it someday. I know there's a fine line between pleasure and pain, but this is way too extreme. I'm a big proponant for battered women's rights, so there might be a connection here.
Are there any women out there who sometimes fantasize about hurting a mans genitalia? If so, why?
It was late at night and I was getting my clothing from the laundry room to prepare for school the next day. My mom who just finished taking her bath walked in there with a towel on. She dropped her towel, reached into a basket, grabbed her robe, put it on (along with her slippers) and left without saying anything to me.
I like to embarrass my sister and girlfriends when they are in the living room at our house. I come downstairs and walk through the living room in only a t shirt and tighty whities. I have my tighty whities slid up between my ass cheeks. Then I bend over and give them a good view. Then I stand erect and scratch my asshole as I walk back through the living room and back upstairs.
I have a feeling that they are going to put a stop to this. I hope not because I get my rocks off doing this.