I cheated on my boyfriend with a former professor of mine who I despise and never particualry liked (his personality). I guess I was after his body (which, come to think of it, isn't good either)

I will hate myself forever for hurting the one person in my life who is truly kind and loving and trustworthy.

We are reconciling finally but it still fells awful. How long will this pain last? I guess I have to forgive myself, but I somehow want to be punished severely.

Comments

Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jan 9, 2006 at 10:25 AM

I really dipise cheaters I have been cheated on so I'm extremely biased. But I say if he could bring himself to forgive you, you are truly lucky and spending your time worrying about how you can earn his trust and love again instead of worry about your own guilt and pain will serve you well.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jan 9, 2006 at 10:43 AM

I agree completely.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jan 10, 2006 at 9:18 PM

Don't keep punishing yourself. You are human. We all have moments of weakness. All of us do. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise.

It will take time to get passed the guilt. It will happen.

You sound like an honest and good hearted woman. Keep your chin up. Smile and enjoy life, it's too short.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jan 11, 2006 at 10:26 AM

whatever a cheater is a cheater, a mistake is a spilling a glass of wine, cheating is something completly different!! Get over yourself and focus on trying to help the person you DEVASTATED to trust you again!

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Feb 24, 2006 at 3:27 AM

If you haven't told him all, tell him now and then insist that he punishes you in some fairly unreasonable way.

Also insist that he goes through with it. It will achieve several things, maybe closure, a very unboring half hour or so (although avoid having to dress up for it as it may become a habit) and lastly, it'll put you back in charge again.

The third is important because you sound like someone who should be in charge....

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