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— Dreams and Wishes
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my biggest secret is that I am in still in love with my ex wife. I love her dearly. Only problem is that she is not, nor has she ever been the woman that I fell in love with. I thought she was someone that she wasn't. When she began to act like she really was, I could not live with her any more. I had to leave. I couldn't go back now if I tried. But then, there is no point in going back. She was never the person I thought she was. I have been so betrayed that my heart will not heal and I still suffer every day. I haven't even tried to be in another relationship for over 12 years now. How do I get over loving someone that only existed in my mind? It would be so easy to attain a female partner. It would only take an hour or two. Women are easy to attract. But it would not solve anything. The pain would still be there and then I would have to deal with this new person wanting my attention. I just can't do that again. I will die in a few years. I know that. And I will die alone still loving this shell of a woman that I filled with love and good intentions. Only when I looked inside I found evil, pain, betrayal, blackness, spitefullness, coldness and death. What did I do to deserve this? All I wanted was a companion that I could trust and that I could grow old with. Someone to fill my days and nights. Now in a house with my 2 sons, my mother, sister, brother-in-law, 2 neices and a few animals I remain utterly alone. I need to go smoke another joint now. That usually makes me forget for a while.
#1177
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Comments (3)
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8/23/2003 at 12:40 AM
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That's Juicy! (0)
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That's Lame. (0)
— Dreams and Wishes —my biggest secret is that I am in still in love with my ex wife. I love her dearly. Only problem is that she is not, nor has she ever been the woman that I fell in love with. I thought she was someone that she wasn't. When she began to act like she really was, I could not live with her any more. I had to leave. I couldn't go back now if I tried. But then, there is no point in going back. She was never the person I thought she was. I have been so betrayed that my heart will not heal and I still suffer every day. I haven't even tried to be in another relationship for over 12 years now. How do I get over loving someone that only existed in my mind? It would be so easy to attain a female partner. It would only take an hour or two. Women are easy to attract. But it would not solve anything. The pain would still be there and then I would have to deal with this new person wanting my attention. I just can't do that again. I will die in a few years. I know that. And I will die alone still loving this shell of a woman that I filled with love and good intentions. Only when I looked inside I found evil, pain, betrayal, blackness, spitefullness, coldness and death. What did I do to deserve this? All I wanted was a companion that I could trust and that I could grow old with. Someone to fill my days and nights. Now in a house with my 2 sons, my mother, sister, brother-in-law, 2 neices and a few animals I remain utterly alone. I need to go smoke another joint now. That usually makes me forget for a while. #1177 — Comments (3) — 8/23/2003 at 12:40 AM — That's Juicy! (0) — That's Lame. (0)