I always put my family first. I provide a fantastic life for them. But I am miserable to the point that I don't want to live.

I have always prided myself on being strong and for the most part that is what I show the world, even if I am hurt inside. However my wife is as cruel as anyone can be. I love her dearly and I have a beautiful daughter with her. She can't stand to hear me at all, she complains even when I breathe. I walk through my house scared to exist because she will start critizizing me. I am a strong man, most people are terrified of me (even though I would not hurt a fly) Secretly I only dream of dying every minute of every day. The funny part is I am not a depresssed person or at least was not before I met my wife. I just don't want to live like this anymore.

I can't even start to tell you how much I love my daughter. She brightens every day and she loves her dad. I can't live without her or I would tell my wife to get lost.

Why is it ok for women to treat men this way but I would be called abusive for less.

I can't talk with family, I can't talk with anyone. I am slowly dying inside and pray for the warmth of death.

Comments

Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 20, 2012 at 3:39 AM

Please please do not succumb to these awful thoughts of suicide. You need to be strong for your beautiful daughter. She NEEDS you. No matter how worthless your wife may make you feel. You are not worthless to that little girl. Having lost my own father, I couldn't read past this post without hoping that you read this and realise you are worthy, you are strong and you can't leave that girl to live in a world without you.
You do not need to accept the abuse from your wife. Fight for your daughter and fight for yourself. You are capable. Please do not give up.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 1, 2012 at 6:43 AM

I am saying this from a place of concern, bit get over yourself. That is to say you need to recognize that you have control over your miserable situation, but perhaps you don't want to admit to it. If you can stop cowering in fear of this woman and start standing up for yourself you will actually feel better about yourself. Today's the day to get past this discomfort and start using your will, what God gave you, to take control of your life.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 3, 2012 at 8:45 AM

You say your strong so show it and not just say it! Take your life back, don't LET her run you into the ground. Let her know you will not stand for it any more. Fight for your little girls sake if not your own. Do it for her if not for your self. Life WILL get better. Don't live like you are because there is so much more to life than what your going through. I felt similar at one point way back and glad I stood strong and took charge of my life even tho we divorced. Looking back it was the best thing I have ever done for myself.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Dec 4, 2012 at 6:36 AM

Don't kill yourself, doing so will destroy the innocence your child has left and possibly make her go down the same path.
If your wife truely is that horrible start setting up things for yourself; ie;
Open a new bank account,
Get a P.O. BOX address,
Apply for a new place.

Once all the mundane things are taken care of I would strongly advise you to file for divorce and part/full time custody.

Staying with this lady is obliviously killing your soul,there are plenty of women out there that will be loving and supportive towards you. I'm sorry if this sounds peculiar, but I keep getting the feeling of "New Zealand" or "Maori" from you. Might be something to look into.

All things aside, for your safety and mental wellbeing, get out of this relationship, if this is how shes treating the man in her life, god knows what shes doing to your daughter when your not around, or when she hits puberty.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on May 22, 2013 at 3:16 AM

I'm sure this doesn't sound sympathetic, but my advice to you is to grow a pair! Wheren did your balls go?

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on May 24, 2013 at 2:23 PM

Dude... I agree with no 4. Get material things sorted. Leave but let your wife know that she has a way back in if she goes to councilling with you.

On some level she knows what she's doing to you and I bet you that she doesn't feel good about it either. When you take your power back you'll be sending a good message to your daughter. Little girls get so much of their self esteem and ideas about relationships from watching their fathers. If the time comes that you have to have little contact with your wife then any relationship you build so long as it's a good one for you - will help teach your daughter what she needs: ie to see how a happy relationship works.

Please don't feel alone, so many men don't realise that it is the way they interact with their family that gives their children what they need. They don't realise that being happy themselves is important for their kids. Instead in this society we put too much emphasis on the fathers role as material provider. Loving, wise, example, role model, who shows you it's okay to be happy and celebrates who you are - isn't that what all of us want in a father?

I wish you the best of luck!

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on May 24, 2013 at 2:24 PM


I often wished my dad would divorce my mother as she berated him I knew that he only stayed because of fear, he has no happiness now either. At best their relationship is like Stockholm syndrome. I wish my dad had been brave enough to let go of my mother. He is alive still, just, but barely moves from his chair or cracks a smile.

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