I have a real problem with daydreaming. I often invent entire complex scenarios - oftentimes with people I know as characters - in my mind. It's very time consuming and I often get angry with myself for such a non-productive habit. When I told my fiancee about them, he told me that they seemed to be all about recognition in some way. I'll be a fire fighter saving a small child, or an expert spy, or a great airplane pilot, the best singer accepting an award, the greatest scientist, etc. etc. Sometimes the fantasies are so vivid that I think I should start writing fiction based on some of the stories.
I worry that I may have a real problem though. My real life seems drab and ordinary in comparison. (It reminds me of that Tracy Chapman song "Ordinary Life" "Can't run fast enough, can't swim, can't fly - I'm struggling with the limits of this ordinary life...") Sometimes it takes a real effort for me to snap out of it and come back to planet Earth. I think I do this more when I'm depressed as a form of escapism. It's sometimes difficult for me to stay in the moment and realize each minute as it ticks past.
I think I need to stay in the moment more though. I know fantasies have their places and certainly dreams are what inspire us to become what we are not. But I don't want to end up spending my entire life in never never land. I think it will require practice. Perhaps I should keep a journal of all the times I slip into Walter Mitty Mode (as I've been known to call it). It may help.
The other thing I'm worried about with myself is that I feel terribly lonely all the time - even though I have a fiancee. I find myself compulsively checking e-mail during the day to see if anyone has written and I feel down when I find my e-mail box empty (as it usually is aside from Spam). I think this is because I do spend so much time in relative isolation. My fiancee works a lot. Most of my friends live in other cities and I'm usually studying so much that I don't really get out to meet new people. Still - I wonder if "meeting new people" would make a difference. I often feel depressed even after I've met with friends...
I often feel lonely in a crowded room. I don't feel a connection to most people and I think the only person who really understands me is my fiancee.
Even those who supposedly "know" me come up with weird analysis of what I'm supposedly thinking or feeling that is way off the mark. It makes me feel like such an alien.
I worry that I may have a real problem though. My real life seems drab and ordinary in comparison. (It reminds me of that Tracy Chapman song "Ordinary Life" "Can't run fast enough, can't swim, can't fly - I'm struggling with the limits of this ordinary life...") Sometimes it takes a real effort for me to snap out of it and come back to planet Earth. I think I do this more when I'm depressed as a form of escapism. It's sometimes difficult for me to stay in the moment and realize each minute as it ticks past.
I think I need to stay in the moment more though. I know fantasies have their places and certainly dreams are what inspire us to become what we are not. But I don't want to end up spending my entire life in never never land. I think it will require practice. Perhaps I should keep a journal of all the times I slip into Walter Mitty Mode (as I've been known to call it). It may help.
The other thing I'm worried about with myself is that I feel terribly lonely all the time - even though I have a fiancee. I find myself compulsively checking e-mail during the day to see if anyone has written and I feel down when I find my e-mail box empty (as it usually is aside from Spam). I think this is because I do spend so much time in relative isolation. My fiancee works a lot. Most of my friends live in other cities and I'm usually studying so much that I don't really get out to meet new people. Still - I wonder if "meeting new people" would make a difference. I often feel depressed even after I've met with friends...
I often feel lonely in a crowded room. I don't feel a connection to most people and I think the only person who really understands me is my fiancee.
Even those who supposedly "know" me come up with weird analysis of what I'm supposedly thinking or feeling that is way off the mark. It makes me feel like such an alien.
