• Adult Confessions
    — Anything Goes —
    When I was a kid I was in a cult. I grew up with no family, and I was trained to fight and kill People when I was 3. When I was 11yrs. I killed about 4 people already, The man that took care of us was in his late 60's and he had us Torture People and bring them back to where we stayed. In 1974 the People in the little town burned our home down, There were three of us and the old man, I was the youngest, But one of us died as well as the old man. I got out alive with second degree burns on my right hip and legs. I still have the scars of my past, my burns and satanic tattoos I had from the time I was am infant. I am now living in the United States ever since I was 12; a missionary group helped me to get here. I grew up in foster care when I came to the United states, No one new who I were and what happened to me.

    I am dealing with this very recent because after all these years, I decided to take classes at a University and I read in a book about the incidents that dealt with my past in the late 60's and early 70's. I am now 39. I have two kids and I am haunted by my past. I am afraid to tell any of my friends, I am ashamed to get therapy. I don't want my kids to find out. I even fell ridiculous to writing this. What can I don't feel fit to live anymore.
    #216 — Comments (5) — 10/10/2004 at 12:58 AM — That's Juicy! (0) — That's Lame. (0)
  • 1
    You have taken an initial step with your posted confession.
    You should now speak personally and honestly with someone you trust, outside your family, to get further help.
    There are many recovery groups in operation which will help you gain some closure with your past, but you must come to terms with your personal shame to be able to admit to yourself that you need some help to atone for your transgressions, and I would urge you to consider counselling as the surest road to attaining some peace of mind.
    Good luck.
    10/10/04
  • 2
    Thank you for you support, I am planning for thearpy in the next few months. This is not a usual situation, my only fear is having my kids fear me. Their mother travel frequent so they stay by me at those times. I donnot have good relationship with them anymore sinse they are getting older, I speak 4 languages and I try to teach my daughter, she likes to learn this is how we past time together, she is the only one that is willing to have a relationship with me. This is too hard for me. Thank you
    10/10/04
  • 3
    You will know when the time is right to share this information with your children. Right now, until you can come to terms with this yourself and start the healing inside with yourself, I suggest you don't say anything about it to them because the rejection you may receive from them could further hurt you.

    Like the first poster said, counseling will do you some good. I'm glad to see you are open to getting it. I feel very sorry for you and I'm sorry for what you have experienced and were forced to do. I'm sure that had to be so hard and awful for you. I hope you can overcome it and free yourself of this awful burden inside. Please know that there are many people out there who understand and support you, and know that as a child, you did not fully understand what you were doing. Good luck, and God bless.
    10/10/04
  • 4
    Can you post a follow up or give more details. I am really curios. thanks
    11/1/04
  • 5
    where is this guy from that he did all this at such a young age? Sorry, I'm still scratching my head
    7/1/05
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