So let me start from the beginning. I was m****ted numerous times by three different boys between the age of 6 and 13. During that time i was confused, emotionally fucked up and wasnt sure of my sexual orientation. My sexual fantasiea started to get crazy, i can remember being 11 and humping the cat, m****ting my sister when i was 6 and she was 2. All the way until she was 11, mostly while she was sleeping. Performing oral on her, and towards the end, even trying to penetrate her and cumming on her. I have also slept with multiple men, and many women. Molested my sisters friends when i was 14 also. I have since been through lots of therapy. I was in group homes where physical and sexual abuse continued, my mother also abused me physically from the age of six. I spent most of my juvenile, and some of my adult life locked up in gangs, and homeless on the street. But that was almost ten years ago i left all of that behind me.

And now years later have told my sister, apologized, and she accepted it. And were fine. I have four beautiful children now 14 girl, 9 year old girl, 2 year old girl, and a 1 year old boy. Im a well to do father, nice house, beautiful wife, good jobs, and a well balanced man. With one exception...........I like young girls sadly from the age of 11 all the way up to my age. I would like to say the difference between me and anyone else who feels like me. Im not narcististic, and i have very good self control. SO I WOULD NEVER VENTURE INTO MAKING THIS A REALITY BECAUSE I KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS, AND THE IMPACT IT WOULD HAVE ON THE CHILD! I never have tried to approach a child, dont stare or check them out in public, i dont work with kids, and have never looked at my kids that way. It disgusts me that i think this way. I used to be the one that said kill p**ophiles, or beat them up in jail. I guess this is my karma. I understand how they feel now. I often think of having very loving sensual sex with beautiful young girls, sometimes multiple at a time, never abusive or hurting physically. ( I AM AWARE IT WOULD HURT THEM MENTALLY) I always think of being a caretaker and teching them about life, and being good people, a role model, and nurturing, but also making love to them. 13 is the age that always comes to mind. Like i said i would never do it. But i masturbate about it sometimes, and i feel horrible after. I never had these thoughts or feelings until 3 years ago. Not sure where they came from. Just want and need answers. Cant talk to anyone for fear of losing my heart and soul- MY CHILDREN! And the last part. In history it shows that 13 year old girls were able to love and be loved by older men, to bear children, and be happy. So why is it so taboo??? I understand if its not accepted. But if you love someone within reason of age why should you be forced to hide it? Back then it was never an issue. So why now? Why get locked up or catch criminal charges for viewing them online, or watching a soft porn? Im happily married so NO im not seeing any teens or even thinking of it. Just a question that rolls around in my head. In my opinion, if a girl has had a period, and is developed, i think it crazy that a man would not be attracted to her. They look like a woman, just smaller. The same attributes just younger. Idk just trying to make sense of why and where this started for me. Its very confusing. Have a good day.