This has been weighing on me for 5 years now.
My best friend, Lisa , got married in October 2011. I was the maid of honor.
I would never do anything to hurt Lisa, we are like sisters more than friends.

But the night before her wedding, and just before her wedding, I did something that I will
always regret.

I am a big believer in fate, and if I had left 2 minutes earlier, or had we gone to a different
bar, none of this would have happened.
I had gone out with some friends (Lisa included) and I had quite a few drinks in me. I was the
last one to leave the bar, and as I was literally walking out, Lisa's fiancé walked in. He was
hoping to catch her still there so they could have 1 last drink together before they were not
allowed to see each other the next day. I told Paul that everyone had gone, and he asked me to
stay for one. Which I did. Which led to two, and before I knew it we had closed the bar.

At the time, I lived walking distance from that bar, and Paul offered to walk me home and he would
take a cab from there.

Somehow I think we both knew that once we got to my place, I was going to invite him in. And then he
kissed me, and I kissed back.
I blame the sex we had that night on the alcohol - but the following morning, Paul and I made love
over and over.
We both agreed that it was something we had to get out of our systems, and boy did we ever.
That Saturday morning was by far the most sex I have ever had, and the longest I had a guy penetrating
me. Paul was like a machine.
I don't know why, but I wanted Paul to say things about how he liked my body more than Lisa's, how
sex was better with me, how he will think about me every time he and Lisa have sex from that day on.
I feel so bad now for wanting to hear such hurtful things then.

We had just finished a round of sex, and Lisa called me. I about died when I saw it was her number
on my phone. But, I had to answer in case she was coming over or something.
I had about a 5 minute talk with Lisa about wedding stuff, as her future husband quietly kissed my
lips and sucked on my breasts.
Paul and I took a romantic shower together, and even though we did not have much time, we had sex once
more literally 2 hours before the wedding.
My pussy was so sore as I stood at the altar with Lisa, and as exciting as the thought could have
been knowing it was the groom that made me that sore, I felt ashamed.

And I still do.

I was very late with me period the following month, and all I could think about was how my
best friend's husband may have gotten ME pregnant on their wedding day.
Luckily it was a false alarm, and Lisa and Paul have been happily married for 5 years now.
They have a beautiful 3 year old boy and another on the way - I am so very happy for her.

I just don't know what to do about this 5 years of guilt.
Part of me would love to confess everything to Lisa, but that would just ruin things for everyone.
Paul and I have never talked about what we did, and he has never made any advances on me
since. I think we both want to pretend it never happened.
But it did.

I am living with a great guy now, but I almost feel like I deserve to be cheated on.
Lisa and I were in a silly mood the other day, and somehow we got into a conversation about
sex. She was bragging about Paul's "size"...and I just wanted to scream out "ok he is big, but
not THAT big!"
My boyfriend and I talk about Lisa - I think of all my friends he has the hots for her more
than anyone else. And honestly, I would love for them to have each other sometime.
This is bad, but the other day Lisa was coming over, and I purposely ran to the store just before
she got there to give her and my boyfriend some time alone.

Maybe I should just tell her that she has my permission to try to seduce my boyfriend.
I owe her that.

Comments

Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 25, 2016 at 10:47 AM

Keep your mouth shut. Let the guilt go. You are letting your emotional connection to her make the non-emotional sex more than it was. Telling does no good. Frankly, I think they set you up. He could have called her to find out where she was before he got to the bar. But she called him to let him know you were alone. She knew you would fuck him and she would rather he had his last wild oat sowing with someone she knew and not a service provider.
One drunken filled night you should challenge her on hubby cock size. As in letting to suck and fuck it for yourself. Again.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 25, 2016 at 11:08 AM

#1 above has made some great points. You should let it go. Telling anyone will bite you in the ass BIG TIME. Just let it go.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 25, 2016 at 6:42 PM

I agree with the first comment ...very perceptive!!! She probably did know and planned it from the start and even called you in the morning as if on cue!!! You might want to plan an evening with you all together or see if your guy will seduce her to even the score. But never spill!!!!

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 26, 2016 at 7:34 AM

Hi all - thanks for the comments. It was good just to write it out anyhow.
But no, I will never tell Lisa about it. I just hope the guilt lessens over the years.

As far as it being planned - that was an interesting theory.
But Paul would have had no idea if I was still at the bar, or what time I was leaving.
Lisa was one of the first to leave, since her wedding was the next day.
I left with 3 other girls, but went back inside to talk to the bartender for about 5-10 minutes after. So, Paul would have no idea that I did not leave with the group , or that I went back inside.
Like I said - if I did just leave, none of this would have ever happened I don't think.

I probably think about Paul too much - especially the shower we took together and the
amazing kisses we shared. I remember us holding each other so close, our lips never parting, and in the back of my mind thinking to myself "You are marrying my best friend soon!".

My boyfriend and I did talk about Lisa last night. I jokingly made a bet with him that
he would not be able to seduce Lisa. He is willing to try though, lol.
For some reason, I would be so happy if it happened....like Lisa and I would be "even" or something.



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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 28, 2016 at 7:29 PM

Did he seduce your friend yet? Mmmm bet that would-be hot if he let you catch them then join in eating her pussy with yiur bf cum inside. As your eating her ask her if she is turned on by you licking your bf cum out. If she says yes. tell her you would even eat her husbands cum out of her as she is sucking you bf cock. Maybe you get your wish of swApping and no guilt. mmmm

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