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— My Family
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This is not a sympathy message, bc i am not looking for anything but i just want u to know why i am the way i am...
All my life I have been different from the other girls, i couldn't do some things they could and i couldnt buy the clothes they wore. Once i got to high school it was the same exact story. Never had a boyfriend and guys hardly paid attention to me. The last two years of highschool I got pretty bad depression. Senior year i took action and...i don't tell many people this...but i cut myself. The only person i told that year was my good friend and she was so worried that i was gona end my life one night she almost left her house to come get me. i dont know where i would be if it werent for my friends. I never got asked to prom either. So, when it came to college i thought it was gonna be so much more different bc i was going to be on a college sports team so i thought guys were going to love that. they "did". the football players had the same preseason as us and immidiately started paying attention to me. me, being nieve, thought they actually liked me so one guy used me after another. once i met my roommate i thought she was great until she slowly started to drop me and leave me in the dust. i turned to my two best guy friends there bc all the girls seemed to hate me. i had no girl friends for a long time. my roommate spread roomers about me that i was a slutty whore even though i was a virgin the whole time i was there. they vandalized my name tage outside my door with words like slut and whore and i eventually had to quit the team, i did horribly in school, and i finally left the school. even after i left boys sent me rude and demeaning facebook posts and messages that just made me feel like i would never mean anything to any guy bc i ruined myself. When i went to CLC this boy in my english class would always flirt with me and wait for me after class. he kept pestering me about having sex and i kept saying no and no time and time again. he agreed and acted like he was going to ask me out. nope...we had sex and he never talked to me again and continued on to use my other friend in the class. my mom found out about this through my taddle tale of a cousin and she said that i was going to end up like my knocked up cousins and she was ashamed to have me as a daughter. she made me change my phone number and get rid of facebook. thank god i had my last bf at the time or else i would never had gotten through it. everything got better with my mom and then he dumped me out of the blue. so my self confidence plummetted, and now i believe that no guy will truly like me for who i am so i try to make him like me in any way i can. i cant help it, and thats y i do wat i do. thats all i'm gonna say, u can accept it or not.
Also, every time i ask u online wats wrong and if u wana talk about it u keep it in so dont say that we never get to know each other when we hang out bc u dont tell me anything anyways. even though u know u always can.
ttyl
#3153
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4/6/2009 at 12:42 PM
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— My Family —This is not a sympathy message, bc i am not looking for anything but i just want u to know why i am the way i am...