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  • — My Family —
    Posted by Anonymous

    I am expecting a New Year's baby. We've been thrilled except for one issue. I really hate both my last name and my husband's.

    My last name happens to sound a lot like an obsene phrase if you say it too fast. I've suffered years of humiliation as a result. School was hell and even now, as a thirty-year old working in a law firm, co-workers still tease me. My mother admits that it is terrible and that she actually cried when my dad proposed because she knew she'd end up with his name.

    Growing up, I couldn't wait to marry so I could ditch my last name. No such luck. I married a man with a horrible last name. My husband's last name is difficult to spell and pronounce. He also hated it as a child and thought about changing it, but his mother said it would break his father's heart. I kept my horrible maiden name because it seemed senseless to exchange one horrible name for another.

    So here we are with these terrible names and a baby on the way. I got an idea a few weeks ago to let our son (It's a boy acording to the sonogram) have a fresh start with a different last name. We had three first names that we really liked: Alexander, Jackson, and Bailey. At the same time, we couldn't decide whether to use my husband's last name (awful) or a hyphenated combination (worse). So I suggested we give him two as a first and middle name and one as a last name. (We still aren't settled on order). My husband loves this idea.

    I mentioned this plan to my family at Christmas and they were scandalized. My in-laws had a similar reaction. They liked the names, but thought that the baby should have one of our last names.

    Does our plan sound wrong?

    #3278 — Comments (6) — Jun 25, 2004 at 9:35 AM — That's Juicy! (2) Remove It.
  • 1
    Personally, I like the order of Alexander Bailey Jackson. If your family cant take the name change, then tough. If both you and your husband hate your last names, then change them. use the baby as an excuse to pick the same last name, and you could then be the Jackson family. This would save problems later, when your kid is in school. People wouldn't understans why the boy had a different name from both his mother and his father.

    Your families may try to guilt you into keeping the crappy family name, but this is a significant lifetime decision for both you and your son, and the desision should be totally in the hands of you and your husband.
  • 2
    I think maybe you should pick one and then maybe before he starts kindergarden give him the choice of choosing a name you, your husband and he create or maybe letting him keep the one he has at that time. SO i would say just pick one for now and then when the time coems for him to enter school let him have a choice.
  • 3
    My last name is different from my parents (my mom was widowed while she was pregnant with me and remarried when I was ten months old). Sure it's different, but it has never been a real problem. When I was very young, my mom introduced herself to my teachers and friends' parents as "Carol ___________, Geri ___________'s mom". If people forgot, she was gracious, but would repeat her full name.

    Interestingly, my husband is from Iceland where kids never have the same last name as their parents because the father's FIRST name becomes the kids' last name.
  • 4
    This is a free country and you can all change your names if you like. As far as your "throw back" relation goes,tell them to go to hell. It's none of their business. I personally feel,for the boy's sake,you should all have the last name.
  • 5
    i think Jackson Alexander Bailey is the best choice, and i think that you should all change your last name to match the babys, or the kid may get confused.i think your families should piss off and get a life personally!
  • 6
    I am sorry to say but it seems you have to much time on your hands. There are other more important things you should be concerned about in regards to your new Baby.

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