I want to tell you about the beautiful, but sad story of my awakening as a lesbian.

I was a junior in college. I had been dating a very attractive atheletic guy for about a year and he had just given me his fraternity pin. To Greeks "pinning" is a big deal and considered the step prior to getting engaged. I should have been very excited, but instead I felt a sinking feeling. We had not yet been intimate "all the way". Now that we were pinned, I knew that Matt would expect sex.

It should not have been an issue. I wasn't a virgin. Between my senior year of high school and my freshman year of college, I had slept with an old friend three times because we wanted to lose our virgininty before going off the college. I hadn't expected much from the first time and was simply grateful that the pain was much less than I expected (more like a mild burning sensation than the searing agony my health teacher led us to believe). We did it twice more over the next six weeks at my insistence (surely I should have felt something more than just the fullness and an occasional twinge.) Having done it three times with the same guy, I was hardly a slut, but I couldn't really claim purity when it came to sleeping with Matt.

About a week after pinning me, Matt called to say that his parents were going to Barbados for a four day weekend. They lived only 3 hours from the college and he suggested that we stay at their house which had a hot tub. He hinted that I wouldn't need a suit.

I reluctantly agreed and began to look for an excuse. But the day came and Matt picked me up on Friday shortly after my last class got out at 2 PM. By dinner time we were pulling into his parents driveway. To our surprise, there was a red Mazda convertible already there. I looked at Matt who shrugged and said that he didn't recognize the vehicle.

We got out and Matt opened the door. Inside the dark house, loud punk rock music played. We walked several feet into the living room before we spotted the bodies on the floor. A girl with platinum dreadlocks lay on her back as her black haired partner moved between her legs with urgency. I gasped and they looked up in shick just as Matt stumbled over the the lights and turned them on.

The two lovers jumped up covering them selves with clothing snatched from the floor. I saw to my shock that despite the darkhaired person had short hair, both were female. Even more shocking, the blonde looked so much like Matt that I quickly realized that she must be Matt's younger sister Laurie. She was a college freshman at the state university.

Matt began yelling and pushing his sister. Her lover tried to defend her and there was quite a bit of shoving. The dark-haired girl stumbled and hit her head on the coffee table. It shattered and there was blood and glass everywhere. We ended up at the emergency room.

In the waiting room, I found myself comforting Matt's sister. as he was questioned by the police. The end result was that he was arrested. Laurie's lover Karen had severe facial cuts and a concussion. She had to spend the night being observed at the hospital. Laurie wanted to stay with her, but because she wasn't a family member she wasn't allowed.

We drove back to Matt and Laurie's house. After a tearful phone conversation with her parents, Laurie opened a bottle of Jack Daniels. I joined her for a couple of shots and then crawled into Matt's bed.

About 1 or 2 in the morning, I was awakened by wracking sobs from the next room. Laurie had crawled into bed drunk and was crying. She apologized, but said that she couldn't stop crying. SHe said that Matt and her parents would never forgive her for being a lesbian. She worried that Karen's face would be scarred and the girl would hate her for having to be outed to her parents as well by the emergency room staff. It had been the first time that she had sex with another girl and it had been wonderful until Matt and I walked in.

To my shock she got up, walked across the room and hugged me. As I cradled her awkwardly, the memory of Laurie and Karen's intertwined bodies made me feel uncomfortable. But not the way that I thought it would. My nipples were stiffening beneath the t-shirt I wore to bed and other sensations were at work in my panties.

I can't remember who kissed who, but I realized suddenly why my previous sexual experiences had left me unsatisfied. My summer lover didn't have breasts or a pussy. No wonder I hadn't been looking forward to sleeping with Matt.

In a certain sense, Laurie and I just kissed that night. We kissed each others lips and faces and necks. But then, she kissed my breasts and stomach and between my legs until I melted. Then I returned the favor. We both cried some more. Laurie for herself and Karen. Myself out of joy!

Laurie and Matt's parents cut their vacation short. They flew in the next day and bailed Matt out of jail. He and I left for school immediately. When we arrived at my sorority house, I told him that I was shocked by his violent reaction and didn't want to see him again. I placed his pin on the dashboard and got out of the car.

I never saw Laurie again so I can't tell you if Matt and his parents ever accepted her as a lesbian or if Laurie's relationship with Karen was salvageable.

As for me, I stayed closeted for the rest of college. But I never dated a guy again. After graduation, I moved to New York and met a wonderful woman. It was just a coincidence that she had platinum dreadlocks.