I started to read "Why does he do that?", a book about angry and controlling men. Available online as a free pdf btw. I'm only 20% done the book and it seems every time I pick it up I have a new reason to cry, a new reason to hate my current boyfriend.

We've been together on and off for over 3 years now. He's an ugly fucker.. greasy, skin littered with pimples and ance scars, fat jowls, thinning hair. He smokes too many cigarettes and too much marijuana. But he's tall and exceptionally strong with a terrifyingly impressive libido.

I hate having sex with him. I hate it so much. Whenever I see him his 6 inch dick is hard. He literally pins me down, strips my clothes off, and fucks me brutally. I don't get the privilege of being aroused. He just fucks me. And it lasts for 30 minutes to an hour. Sometimes I bleed afterwards and my lower stomach gets cramps. I hate him putting me on top and expecting me to fuck him with enthusiasm, like I wanted to fuck at all. His dick is only 6 inches but it still fucking hurts when it goes deep. When it's dark and he can't see my face I'll just cry. Because I don't want to have Sex. Don't want the pain.

Last September and October I left him for a few weeks. He texted me and called me crying saying that he would change. That we would intertwine our lives and that he'd die without me. I tried to say no, to get him out of my life. He was storing some of his stuff at my parents house in their garage. I told him to come get it... He came by with a van from his work. He asked me to come sit with him and we could talk some things out.. He started the van and drove down the road a little bit. I said I didn't want to go anywhere. To take me back. But he didn't listen. He groped my breasts first and kissed me on the lips. I didn't kiss back. He begging me to fuck him because it had been so long. I said no, take me back please, I want to go home. Again, he didn't listen and instead forced me into the back. I cried of course. He knelt me over the bench seat and with one hand he undid his pants while holding my one arm behind my back. Then he slid my pants down and fucked me. He kept saying I love you. Don't leave me. And all I could do was cry.

I guess that was r**e. I don't actually know.. Because each time he fucks me I orgasm.. I can't tell if it's r**e or sex. Seriously. Anyways.. I wasn't on birth control. I planned on staying single until my head could be sorted out. He came inside of me and I got pregnant. I knew that I was pregnant probably two weeks after maybe three. He said let's keep it.. I said no.. He listened to me then.. Because it would benefit him not having a kid. I knew so early on but I stayed pregnant until I was 13 weeks along. I prayed and hoped that I would naturally miscarry so I wouldn't have the shame of an abortion. But God never smiles upon sinners. So I killed our child through abortion. He dropped me off and picked me up from the appointment. At least he has some decency I guess. I wanted that baby badly. I think it was a girl.

At this point you may say "Just fucking leave him, you stupid bitch". And my response to that is... shouldn't i be obligated to give him sex Whenever? Isn't that the female role? To be submissive...

I'd love to be in love and to have Sex with someone that I truly cared for each and every day. I masturbate daily so I know I still get aroused but.. I just hate having sex with my boyfriend.

Anyways. The book I mentioned earlier doesn't get into unwanted sex too much. But I can see how abusive my boyfriend is in not listening to what I want or need. He doesn't care about me bleeding, as long as he's cum then life is great. For any women out there confused about your relationship like me... read this book... it can open your eyes

Comments

Anonymous

by Anonymous on Feb 7, 2018 at 10:14 PM

"shouldn't i be obligated to give him sex Whenever? Isn't that the female role? To be submissive..."

No.

Your obligation is to be happy.

Only when you are happy and when you are happy with your spouse, you can raise happy strong and healthy offspring.

Who the fuck have told you that you should be a slave for idiot who abuse you and with whom you are not happy at all?

Can't you read your own message? You are not saying anything else but how much you hate him. Do you really think that in their death beds, your children will say, "Boy, My mom was so good to be a punching bag for our dad. I loved how not once I saw her smiling!"

And I mention this already before he comes here spreading his bullshit. In this site, there have been a one sick male, who have made comments how female obligation is to be a sex slave for a man, and basically how women are worthless without any value. He is mentally ill. He is narsistic and quite possibly he is also psychotic. He can go fuck himself.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Feb 7, 2018 at 10:15 PM

You owe him NOTHING. Sex with you is a privilege not a right, you control when and where you have sex, always.

Everything he does, everything a man does, should be to make you feel safe, wanted, respected, and cared for. He should be working to satisfy you mentally, physically and sexually.

Leave that pathetic little boy. He's not a man. He's barely even a male. You're a queen. Turn around, rip off the band and and leave him. Today.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Feb 8, 2018 at 12:29 AM

Yeah, if you don't love him, leave him so you can meet the right person and so can he. If he is having sex with you without permission then that is r**e. He needs to go to prison. The question you have to ask yourself is, what advice would you give someone you care about who is in your position? Would you tell your sister, mother, friend or daughter to stay in that situation. Be strong, and cut him off, give him no chance to see you again, and if he does make sure there are witnesses.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Feb 8, 2018 at 5:57 AM

Agree with the other posters. If you do not dump this loser now you will be in for a long life of abuse. These types never change, the sooner you are away from him the better.

Believe it or not there are some decent guys out there who would treat you nice and care about you and your needs, emotional and physical.

You only get one life, stop wasting it with this douche. You dont owe him shit.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Feb 8, 2018 at 6:59 AM

Control freaks and/or abusive men simply lack a sense of self and confidence. No Einstein needed there. The question is with you, why the devil do you feel you need to be punished?

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Feb 8, 2018 at 10:45 AM

Wow! As a man (age 62), I agree with the first 5 comments. You are intelligent. Follow your logic and leave. And don't go back.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Feb 8, 2018 at 7:38 PM

Now read carefully. There are now 6 men who are saying your husband is a loser.

6 men.

If you leave that one loser, you have really high chance to get a good guy who loves you and who you do love too.

I understand it may be really scary to leave him and to face the reality that you are alone. But you are not alone for long. There are lots of good men who can offer you much better future, respect, friendship and love.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Feb 9, 2018 at 12:43 AM

LEAVE HIM!!!!!! JUST WALK AWAY. ITS E A S Y!!!!!

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Feb 9, 2018 at 8:40 AM

#8 Fuck you.

OP, #8 is the most fucked up mental case in this site.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Feb 9, 2018 at 9:17 AM

Regarding comment #9, ALL the comments, one through eight, are indeed liberal, shallow, especially sexist & inadmissible as rational replies. They all consider very little as to the real situation & are mere kneeJERK reactions to a gal undergoing perhaps a difficult time in her life.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Feb 9, 2018 at 1:31 PM

Now that we have hopefully passed the period where fools just react & insult, even though only one side of this account has been written, we'll put this into perspective by taking a look at the bigger picture presented here by both partners. First, there is nothing really odd or extraordinary occurring within the poster's scenario. Moreover, there are no freaks here & the m.o. of both parties is reported and referred to in many forms on a near weekly basis.

What needs to be heavily considered as well & because we will never know for sure, is the rapidity in which this was written after events occurred without permitting proper digestion of ones emotions following such events. Clearly & admittedly, the poster is confused regarding chronology of events, what actually happened & how she genuinely feels regarding the relationship.

Another concrete fundamental that needs to be sustained is that there are no "roles" here. Rather the aforementioned behavior of the man is completely natural in the realm of sexual relationships. A man is aggressive by nature and woman is submissive to a man WHENEVER his libido calls ; not as her designated role but due to nature dictating such within her.

Referring to the aggressive nature of the sexual relations in the van she mentioned ; one can spin it with any sort of fabricated criminality they wish to and as we are conditioned to believe, however fundamentally it will always be NATURE dictating man's behavior to propagate the species >>>> Nothing more than that and as innocent as a woman menstruating.

Furthermore, also admittedly and beyond dispute she confesses to her partner's penetrative penis blessing her with orgasm each & every time sexual relations occur. The female orgasm [including hers] is well documented indicating as over 90% a function of the brain and cannot ever override anything repulsive like unwanted penetration.

CONCLUSION : To be succinct, there's a n_i_gg_e_r in the woodpile.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Feb 10, 2018 at 2:56 AM

And BINGO! The fucked up psychopath making comments #10 #11, as #1 were referring to, has arrived.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Feb 11, 2018 at 3:45 AM

The fools lacking intelligence find it easy to dismiss reality with their gauche street language ; indicating & exhibiting their acute mental disease commonly referred to as liberalism. These perverts of course shouldn't be permitted to breed & continue their obviously contaminated gene pool.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Feb 16, 2018 at 12:25 PM

I left today. 5 hours ago I went to his apartment to grab my laptop and whatever bits and pieces of stuff that are mine. He didn't realize I was leaving him. I left the keys to his apartment in his boot and took off. I blocked him on Facebook and on my phone. Going to get a new number tomorrow. He called me from his friends phone to ask me why I took my stuff. And I just said I'm done and that's that. He said he would die without me... the dark part of me hopes that's the case but I want him to be alive to see how happy and free I am without him.


I'm waiting to go see my therapist right now and I'll let her know the news. This is the end of my abuse and the beginning of something new.

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