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  • — Women Only —
    Straight Female / 47

    New to the workforce after college I was given to a man, for training and development. I was an honors graduate and expected to move up quickly. He told me it didn't work that way. I wasn't the only one, and there were employees ahead of me, seniority mattered. And he whispered to me that he had not seen women go up just like that, actually not at all. Look around, did I interview with any women? And look around what jobs did women do? Not to get him wrong, he didn't have a problem, but look around. Maybe I should settle in, do a good job, he would look after me, and if a promotion came up, he would take me into consideration.

    The year was 1980, 9 to 5 was in theatres.

    He moved me into Human Resources. He gave me instructions, think T&A, secretaries needed to look the part. Manager title was equivalent to nothing, it was just a title. The day came when he put his around me, demanded a kiss, patted my bottom, and told me to settle down. I was now dating. I was told by an older, more life experienced office manager, this was not someone I wanted to disappoint, and not to be stupid, a smart, educated man, well respected, on senior management, probably partner, track? What was I thinking? I wanted to make sure I was a keeper, with my background and education I was definite marriage material.

    Think of the house, I wouldn't have to work, I could have and raise my kids, don't blow it. She was quite serious when she told me it was easier to fall in love with a rich man than a poor man. You can learn to love a man, especially a man with his background and future.

    Her predictions came to pass, I was chosen for marriage, I quit working after my first son was born, I lived in the right neighborhood, I had the four kids, he made partner, I fit right in, I had the background and education for a partner's wife. But I never fell in love. In like yes, good man yes, nice man yes, good father yes, well to do yes, husband yes, but in love no.

    He still puts his arm around me, demands a kiss, pats my bottom. Still a girl, a 57 year old girl, still not quite there, not quite. Not a man. Girl yes. Maybe if I had fallen in love my days would be easier.

    #39274 — Comments (5) — Feb 13, 2018 at 12:26 PM — That's Juicy! (3) Remove This.
  • 1
    Just because your 57 doesnt mean you cant still fall in love. You dont have to change your home life to love someone...
  • 2
    It was a different time back then, yes you did have an easier life with luxury, travel and envy of people. But you never lived and you never experienced being in love with a man.
  • 3
    It was a different time back then, yes you did have an easier life with luxury, travel and envy of people. But you never lived and you never experienced being in love with a man.
  • 4
    No no, don't kid yourself & don't permit yourself to trust the first two comments. They are dreamers too. More importantly as a female & beyond dispute, the template you experienced has & always will be in place suited as the direction for the girls in thr bureaucracy. There were many before you & there will be many for the template following you. It's been too successful for too many firms for a long time. like you, the gals just have to "fall in", if you will & it will all work out. You were wise not to rock the boat. Carry on.
  • 5
    Look, as human beings, we all have mandates per gender. Regardless of the era of time we may be in, they will never be sexist or discriminatory. As such, it appears by your account anyhow, that you performed yours as expected and were thus rewarded with a affluent life.

    At the same time, we know love is important to a woman.
    That stated & depending on the girl however, it must not be quite as necessary as having what you have. I doubt you're complaining due to so many girls wishing they could have your life to reflect on.

    The point here being not to second guess. Most important is that you fulfilled your feminine mandate. You fit in. Actually if girls would absorb & digest this account as a LESSON of their mandate rather than rocking the boat, they could find a path toward a rewarding life.

    You on the other hand also have the peace of mind knowing you helped society evolve by your feminine obedience, discipline, and adhering to your feminine mandate.

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