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  • — Out of the Closet —
    Lesbian Female / 33

    This is me, back in the closet.

    I was 28, addicted to drugs and alcohol, working part time at a burger bar and beer joint, living with a woman who was bipolar but paid the rent. I was then a lesbian and had been for ten years. Because of my lifestyle and the drugs I dropped out of college and never finished.

    In dropped a man with two friends for a beer and hamburger after work. I didn't pay enough attention to their table and he stopped me in the hall between the kitchen and the dining room and asked me what my problem was. I shoved passed him, but not before he got swat on my behind and told me he wanted to fuck me. When they left he left me a hundred dollar tip and his name and phone number. He fucked me for a hundred dollars, three days a week and he took my cigarettes away, he didn't want to kiss me, and told me to get off the drugs. For a hundred dollars several days a week he got me to have sex and give him oral sex.

    One afternoon, on my day off, he was at the place I was living and he was there to have sex with me and my roommate walked in on us. She wanted to know what was going on, she started to become violent and he sat her down hard on a chair and told her to stay, like talking to a dog. He fucked me on the bed while she sat on the chair and he told her that he fucked me and for her to keep her hands off me. I had to move and he helped me find another place, he signed the lease and he fucked me on the carpet and reminded me that he fucked me.

    I changed jobs. He expected sex, he was paying for the apartment, and he bought me a used car. I don't know how often he fucked me, but it was several times a week. It felt like I was getting fucked every day. He didn't drink and he kept me from drinking and he paid for a program to get me off the drugs. He also paid for a shrink, which I don't know if it helped or not, but I did get off the drugs. I also changed my hair and started to wear make up and dress more feminine.

    The crowd I belonged to didn't have a problem with my change, I was in a nice place, I had money, a car and since this usually happened with a man, they completely understood. I was playing the straight game. I was the 'wife' and he was the 'husband'. All I needed was a couple of kids and I would be set up. I never had anything to do with the woman I used to live with, she and I broke up.

    I got pregnant. He was upset, but he is in love with me, and he decided that if I was pregnant we should get married. We got married, that day I dolled up and wore a dress and everything. He had bought me a ring and a diamond and we put on the show. Everything went pretty well, but that night he held me down and told me that now I was his wife. I asked him what he meant by that and he told me he didn't want to hear about any woman hanging around.

    I have two kids now and we live in a regular house and I stay at home. My kids are in day care in the mornings and I do the gym and run errands in the morning. I more or less cook, but I am not that good at it. I do wear my hair in a girl cut, and wear earrings and my marriage rings. I changed my name but I am not used to being called Mrs. Jones (fake name) by the teachers at the day care. I don't have any clothes of the ones I had when I met him, all I have now are pretty much girl clothes from department stores, he likes 'cute' on me. Living with him, being the mom and being his 'wife', and even the Mrs. part, is much easier than playing feminine all day long.

    The mother of one of my daughter's friends at school is a hairdresser and going to her and sitting in a chair with nothing but other women getting their hair done is a trip. My husband wants cute, so she cuts my hair in a feminine short style. The lady also does make up for weddings and such and she is teaching me make up. This is the hard part of going into the closet. The dressing up. What I see when I am all dolled up is not who I am, but it is the girl he wants to see. I tell my husband that when I go do my hair I am in a room with nothing but women. If he meant what he said he would let me go to a barbershop and get a hair cut like I had the day I met him.

    I am so far in the back of the closet now, other than people who knew me before, no one would guess that the lady on the cul de sac with the two little girls used to be a lesbian drug addict.

    #39987 — Comments (0) — Apr 17, 2018 at 8:35 AM — That's Juicy! (2) Remove This.

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