I have a serious question and would like your help to better understand my issues. All

my life, starting at about 8 years old (I'm 59 now) I have been turned on by BDSM, even before I knew what it was, I was having
fantasies about being tied up, humiliated and punished.

When I reached puberty these things started sexually exciting me. I also started fetish crossdressing at this time. Even though I
had sisters and access to their things, I gravitated towards my mother and grandmother's garments. Even though I had
access to their hose, panties, slips, dresses and shoes, I was drawn to control briefs, girdles, matronly swimsuits and swimcaps
with a chin strap. Now it has been over 50 years and I still am a BDSM submissive, I like to take kinky sexual risks, I still like
humiliation and I still am turned on by the same fetish items.

One other thing. In my late teens I started to exclusively be attracted to older, plumper
women about 10-20 years older than me. In
my teens and 20's I was attracted to women in their 30s & 40s. The age of the women progressed as I grew older and now that I'm
in my late 50s, I am turned on by women in their 60s & 70s.

I have never met anyone who admitted liking the same things I like. Am I unusual in respect to my fetishes and taste in women?
Also, what are some possible reasons I have been this way over 50 years?

Comments

Anonymous

by Anonymous on May 28, 2018 at 1:24 PM

You have a fairly mainstream kink. You are far from the only one. You are only alone because you have not met others with the same kink. There are clubs and meets. You have tried fetlife?
What gets you off has no meaning to me at all - however if it gets you off it's harmless and you need to do it...

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on May 28, 2018 at 6:47 PM

What the #1 said. You are not anything special.

I have heard literally hundreds of people who have the same fetish and their stories have so much similiraties with your story.

First, there are mother or grandmother, who have nice garments. Mom or grandmother represent maternal authority figure for little boy. That is quite different from "regular" people, who have paternal authority figure. I wont dig too deep into all the mumbo jumbo psychology, but maybe you have felt you are different because there is no father telling what to do, but you have a mother or grandmother who are "the law".

You have felt that you are weaker than other boys, because your mother have been the law in your household and your father have been either spending all day at work or have been silent and seemingly weaker than your mother.

But, today when you are older, you are not actually weaker than them. You are much more stronger. That strength is "boring", because you are alone. Because of that, to feel something, you fantasize of someone punishing and humiliating you.

Female garments have been seen as beautiful, powerful, and showing strength. They have been like a uniform for a leader. You have been a boy and you have known you will never have a permission to use them. And as you know, if you do not have permission to have something, you want it.

Because your father have not been there to show his authority, you have seen your mothers garments as sign of power, but also, you have seen yourself left out of that power. Today, you enjoy them because they not only represent beauty and power, they also represent safety. But because they still are secret, you have connected them also to sexuality, because arousal or masturbation have also been secret you should had done when you were young, and you have been afraid your mother would had found it out.

It is easy to understand why you have seek older women. You have not seek mother figure. You have seek powerful figure for your life, because you have appreciated the power your mom had over whole household. You do not want girls.

You want real woman, because you are already so strong yourself, because over the years when you were developing, you needed to find out how to survive in a world, where your friends had fathers who were there for them.

All the men who have never experienced this (I haven't) do not accept this view, because they feel that they are not as powerful as you are. They want to belittle you, because you have been mommas boy. But the truth is, they have never experienced the loneliness you have felt. What you have become, are individual, when they have only followed the regular way of life. Sure they may have all the muscle, but it doesn't mean anything. If you take a look at the real leaders of this world, they do not have muscles.

Here is a fun fact. Almost every single leader enjoy being submissive, because unlike boys, they already enjoy all the feats of a leader. They do not want to humiliate or dominate people in their free time. People get used to all kinds of things and situations. Leaders have got used to the fact that they dominate, so domination does nothing for them. They want to feel something and they have found that being submissive for example in sex let them feel something. All the people who likes to dominate in bed, are nothing, or in other words just regular people in public.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on May 28, 2018 at 6:52 PM

I forgot to add that for example, all the so called cuckolds are not really pitiful wankers in their public life. They are dominant leaders too. They are true alpha males because they can share their woman with other, more good looking men, who, just like the regular boys, think they are something big.

Those muscular, good looking men could never have a hot wives themselves, and they have pitiful self image they could never share their girlfriends with other men because they would be too afraid to lose her for other men.

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