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  • — Out of the Closet —
    Gay Male / 26

    My parents were real church people. I was an only child and I spent all of my youth in church, church camp, church Sunday school, church was the center of my parent's life. When it was time to go to college I was sent to this Church of Christ college. It was the first time that I shared a room with anyone. The boy was a track jock from high school, with long legs and very lean. I didn't realize it but he was my first crush. If he didn't take me with him I was crushed, I talked to him until it was late at night. I was good at math so I did his math for him. I started to take care of his laundry when I did mine.

    The restroom and showers were communal and I started to pay attention to him when he was naked. He was open about it, he never covered up, showered and dried himself in front of me. One morning only the two of us were in the shower and I was sitting on the bench and he was drying off and he was naked and less than a foot from me and his penis was right there. He saw me staring at him and he just stood closer and slapped my face with his penis.

    That night he asked me if I wanted to come over to his bed. He was on his back and he took the covers off and he was naked and his penis was already hard. He told me to just put my mouth on it and suck my heart away. I sucked him, and he sucked me and he told me to keep quiet about it, college kids did this, but telling about it would get us expelled. I got real familiar with his penis and lots of nights he let me sleep in his bed with him. One of those nights he got the urge and we had sex.

    After we had sex things changed. That was more than just what college kids did. I felt guilty at the bottom of my soul, I knew I had fornicated with a man. But I couldn't stop, once we had sex we had sex all the time, at first when I got in bed with him and he got on me from behind, but later on we had sex girl style with me on my back. He had his friends from track and I didn't quite get along with them, but he took me anyway and apologized to his friends for having me there. He tried to get me to dress like he and his friends, but it didn't feel right.

    When the year ended and we went back home for the summer I attended a church camp. Being a college kid I was assigned to be a coach or mentor to the kids. So may boys, and I could walk into their cabin whenever I wanted, I saw them in their underwear, and would shower with them. I had dreams of the boys walking beside my bed in single file letting me suck their penis one at a time. That night I had wet dream in my cot. The feeling of their penis in my mouth was so real. Things were getting out of control and I asked to go home, claiming that I needed to work on my reading for college.

    I am grown up and I have a long term lover, a married engineer from work. I have been with him for three and half years. Since I live alone I have free time to do what I want. I continue to have night wet dreams. I have vivid dreams of sucking the penis of some guy I saw at the mall or at the supermarket during the day, which almost always results in masturbation and ejaculation.

    I don't know why I fixate on that, but it is always the same thing. I am sitting somewhere and the man comes over and he rubs his penis in my face and then I suck him and empty him and put his penis away and zip him up and he says thank you. I never do that with my lover, we primarily have sex with just a little foreplay. When he comes to see me he is always in a hurry to get started.

    I stopped going to church after I moved out of my parent's home. It is the only way I can deal with my guilt.

    #40949 — Comments (0) — Jul 30, 2018 at 9:17 AM — That's Juicy! (5) Remove This.

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