First and foremost as a disclaimer I must admit when this started I was getting high. My running partner was my brother. We basically spent every day together using or figuring out how to use. I ended up getting clean, went to rehab and he didn't. He is constantly relapsing left and right. During our run together, we started acting out in different ways. Ways we never should have, near blackout states we ended up having sex, multiple times throughout our drug use. On one occasion I even let him film some of it. Worst/best mistake of my life, now clean for almost a year and a half I know how horrible it was to be having sex with my brother. At the same time it's something that absolutely takes me somewhere I don't know how else to get. He tried blackmailing me by saying he'd show my current boyfriend the video and our friends if I don't keep giving him money to use or sleep with him again. Unbeknownst to him that gave me an excuse to act out on something I can never rid from my thoughts even sober now. So a few weeks ago when he threatened to show my boyfriend if I didn't give him the cash to get high or have sex with him I gave in. I told him I didn't get paid until Thursday and that our parents were home that we weren't having sex, that I'd think about what I could do and let him know. He kept texting me like crazy and I was stalling by giving short evasive responses. Finally he must've realized and came in my room. He said well mom and dad are asleep now, so unless you want "John" to see the video I have you can give me the $125 or we can fuck. I saw in his eyes he was high as can be. I said I really don't have the money and this isn't the best idea, I dunno how I can live with myself if we do this. (I just didn't want him to know I replay our sexual experiences together in my head with enjoyment all the time) He said well I don't know how you're gonna live with yourself when I text "John" the video then and began to fumble with his phone saying he was gonna send it to him. I shot out of bed and grabbed it from him and said fine, but this isn't gonna keep happening where you keep trying to blackmail me for something that happened when we were using together. Without hesitation he kissed me, we started hooking up. I pretended to pull away but really just wanted him to pull me back in so it seemed as if I really didn't want this. I let him slide down my bootie shorts and start grabbing at my ass. He was hard as a rock, so again I try to pretend to pull away and he pushed me on the bed and said if you aren't gonna do this your boyfriend is gonna have a nice surprise text when he wakes up tomorrow. I try to act as if I'm paranoid and told him that if he ever found out he could possibly tell our parents out of anger and spite. He just looked at me and said that wasn't his problem as he pushed himself between my legs as I'm sitting on the bed he pushed me on. I said I can't believe you're making me do this, as I was saying that I started to pull down his boxers. By this point I'm dripping wet trying to hide how badly I wanted this to happen again. I slowly stated to kiss his dick, licking it up and down till he grabbed my head and if I didn't want it so badly you could say forced himself in my mouth. Still trying to play it off as if I didn't want it, I'd stop and look up and ask him if this is really what he wanted. Meanwhile I probably wanted it more than him. I started to blow him again and couldn't help it anymore and said are you going to fuck me or not? I laid down and he got on top of me, I guided him into my now soaked pussy. Oh my God was it amazing, at this point I didn't even care to try and hide that it's what I wanted. My breathing and moans were out of control. Clearly I'd been having sex with my boyfriend but this is something totally different. When you're using as a male especially sometimes you can't stay fully hard, so after awhile when I felt he'd be getting a little soft I'd start to suck his dick again and talk dirty to him till it was good enough to please me. I'm not gonna gloat I'm not perfect by any means but I have a really nice ass. I got on my hands and knees after blowing him hard again and told him to fuck me from behind, he wanted to cum but I told him not yet. So we stopped and I got on top, I rode him and the whole time looked him in the eyes, occasionally leaning down to kiss him. He finally said I'm about to cum, back when we were using I wasn't responsible and wasn't taking my birth control. So I guess he thought I was gonna make him pull out, without explained that I have been on it for over a year now I said OK but kept riding him wildly. He started to freak and told me to get off before he cums but it was too late as I felt him erupt inside me. When I tell you I've never been so fulfilled with pleasure before that's an understatement. After he finished I told him it was OK I've been on the pill, I also told him how much I missed that and haven't felt that good since I've been clean. Obviously this is our parents home so he couldn't stay in my room but I will definitely be trying to make this a regular occurrence. That night we hooked up a few more times, touching each other, fooling around some more and I can honestly say I have no regrets. Yeah maybe it's completely wrong, but I'm a recovering addict, I like things that make me feel good. I may not be using anymore but I'm not perfect and when we are together it's as close to amazing as it gets. I have never been fucked the way he can fuck me, I never had an orgasm like I do with him, it's an out of body experience.

Comments

Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 11, 2018 at 2:28 AM

Have you considered using sex to help him get clean? Or does he only want your pussy and mouth when he's high?

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 11, 2018 at 12:23 PM

Since then we've had sex a few more times, I told him I'd do ANYTHING to help him stay clean. I just don't think he wants to. He loves getting high. When we were using together over a year ago we started having sex in blackouts because there was always a sexual attraction between us. He'd always be jealous of my boyfriends and I knew he had seen dirty pictures I had sent my exes and would jerk off to them he told me about it once we were using. That's kind of how it all started when we were using together, after he told me that we only hooked up a few times at first but then after awhile I'd let him jerk off while I played with myself. Then one time down the road he just couldn't cum while watching me and I ended up going down on him. After that there was no turning back. I've thought about it, obviously we would never be together, but the sex is beyond incredible. I'd hope if he got clean he's still want to do it, I know being sober and fucking him was even better than the times we had sex high.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 11, 2018 at 3:12 PM

You mentioned that your brother has occasional issues with maintaining his erection when he's high. You might bring this up as gently as possible and suggest he start tapering off to minimize the bad effects on his cock. You might even toss in some of your testimony about the sex feeling so much more intense when you're sober.

You may have to give up lots of head and pussy to coax him along, but if you can get him to reduce or eliminate his drug use, I think you'll agree that it's worth the sacrifice, especially if you're racking up orgasms that are "beyond incredible" while you're helping him.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 11, 2018 at 11:58 PM

Listen I have no issues at all with what we do. At times the guilt is there but in the end it's sex. It just happened to be someone society deems you shouldn't be sleeping with. I'd obviously never date and be with him but whether he's clean or not I'm going to do what feels good. I love the thought of him being inside me, I love the seeing his enjoyment when I'm giving him a blowjob, it's unexplainable. The satisfaction it produces is beyond your wildest dreams. I've been with a lot of men, before, during and after my addiction. In the end though nothing compares to what it's like when we're together. I've actually even told him I'd get him a prescription to subs and we could go hole up in a hotel somewhere for 5-7 days while he detoxes and just do whatever he wants. Sex, pictures, make a video anything. So I'm hoping that he decides he wants a better life and will give up the dope. I have zero issues giving up all of me anytime he wants it, I'm not ashamed to admit I love when he's inside me. It's better than any drug I've ever taken.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 12, 2018 at 2:42 AM

You love to have sex with him and you love to see his enjoyement and that is perfectly okay. I do not judge you by the i****t. I have experienced i****t, and I know how good it does feel. Much better than regular sex. I can't explain it, but it just does. But he is blackmailing you with those pictures and that is horribly wrong. He is not sick just because of his addiction. He has a sick and narsistic mind.

He does not love you. He doesn't even like you, and worst of all, he doesn't respect you at all. No people who love someone would blackmail their loved one. No one who like someone, wouldn't blackmail the one person they like. And no one who respect someone would treat their idol like shit.

I do not know what kind of shitheads you have met in your life, but no matter how much you love the i****tuous sex with him, he is pure poison and only thing you love, is sex.

Great if he will someday realize what kind of poisonous asshole he is, but for now, do not feed his poisonous behavior, or in the end you will suffer because of him! And believe me, the question is not "if", but "when".

For example, what will happen in the future when you are going to job interview and you know you could get your dream job, but he decides that he wants to cum in your pussy?

Sure you could go in there a bit late, and having his seeds inside you, satisfied and aroused? Do you think your interviewer would tolerate it?

So what it will be:

-Your dream job, but also ruined future and relationships with your family when he shows them what you two have done? I do not even consider you will date your boyfriend too long now that you can have sex with your own brother. And do not take this that I'm judging you. I'm not. I'm just saying, the satisfying sex is really important part in any relationship and clearly your brother is superior comparing to your boyfriend. I'm 100% sure that you will end up dating your own brother, although not publicly of course.

-Or, being a sexslave for him, enjoying it as long as it lasts, but forgetting the future of your own good and living without any clear future plans, only pleasing him and his quirks? Slowly dying to his poison?

Do you think he will support you in the future? Maybe buy a house for you, or even managing to pay a rent, or have a job, or feed your children, or even you, if he can't even control his own life? I mean, does he really think that when he shows the pictures of you two, he will not get in trouble at all?

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 12, 2018 at 12:02 PM

He's my brother regardless of anything else. I was an addict too and I can't hold him at fault besides not trying to remain clean. I know who he is when he isn't using and he's a kind hearted, good person. When he's using he does and says things he'd never do when he's clean. It's a poor reflection of the man he truly is. In spite of your beliefs I wouldn't date my brother even not publicly. As much as I enjoy our sexual relationship I wouldn't father his child that's something that just I would never allow. I do enjoy the blackmail somewhat because it gives me an excuse to justify the rather inappropriate actions. Deep down inside I know how wrong it is but I love fucking my brother. I'd do anything for him, he doesn't force me to do anything I love it and love being with him this way. I love the forbidden nature and the feelings of bliss it beings me when we're exploring every inch of each other's bodies. It isn't even that he's huge or dead sexy, he's good looking and normal in size but it's the fact that I know I can turn him on the way I can even though we are blood. Not to mention the utter satisfaction it brings me. My boyfriends been asking me to get off the pill so we can try to have a child but I make up a thousand excuses because the thrill of knowing I let my own brother cum deep inside me is much more rewarding for me. So what if I just like sex? Who doesn't? I've fucked countless men before I started using drugs, while using drugs and since I've been clean. Is it wrong to like sex? I've given more blowjobs and sex to people than I'd even admit. Some random strangers at bars, some bosses, some coworkers, some house managers at a halfway house I lived in while getting clean, married men, drug dealers, when I was a teenager I slept with friends much older brothers, so who fucking cares? People act like sex is such a dirty thing, these are people who probably don't get it enough. That's their problem not mine. I love my brother and I love fucking him even more. Maybe just maybe I enjoy the fact that he has that power of the pictures over me, maybe it in itself turns me on. Maybe it's reversed and it gives me the control to fuck him whenever and however I want without him directly knowing that.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 12, 2018 at 3:16 PM

#3 again,

If you look back at what I wrote, I never suggested that you stop having sex with your brother. I'm happy for you that it's so enjoyable and if the hint of blackmail is a plus for you it's all good.

What I did suggest was that you diplomatically point out that he was having some issues maintaining his erection when he's high. From there you can try selling him on the idea that tapering off or quitting could have a positive impact on both his performance and enjoyment. You can tell him about how much better it feels to you sober.

The part about increased frequency was poorly written. The base idea being that if he does tone it down or quit his desire for sex could increase since it's one of the few natural ways to flood the zone with those pleasurable brain chemicals.

Good luck and blow him once for me. ;-)

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 12, 2018 at 5:22 PM

My apologies, I think I got what you were saying misconstrued then. This morning he was actually going through mild withdrawals because he had not used since yesterday evening. Once our parents left for work I went to check on him and he wasn't in the best shape. I felt terrible because I remember that feeling and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Even though I could tell he wasn't much up for it after laying with him for awhile I tried to cheer him up with a blowjob actually in hopes it'd lead to him fucking me. Fortunately enough it did, I even gave him anal which I hadn't in awhile due to his lack of erection at times from being so high. It was great too, I think it worked out when I told him he could cum wherever he wanted to. In a way I'm starting to feel bad for my boyfriend because I'd much prefer my brothers dick and letting him do whatever he wants with me. I know this makes me a terrible person, I really do love my boyfriend and would take a bullet for him but I can't stop having this strong desire for my brother. He was even blowing my phone up all morning and afternoon today when I was with him. I didn't even notice until a few hours had passed. I told him my brother wasn't doing well and I wanted to keep an eye on him. When he offered to stop by and help I had to lie and say i was about to take my brother to cop something just to feel better. I hate lying to him but I just wanted to stay home and fuck as much as possible before my parents came back. He eventually was able to get a few bags and do them, he's dealer spotted them to him. Once he got off we were able to talk a little about what we wanted to do and if he would wanna continue this if he got clean but I don't know if he was giving me answers I wanted or was telling the truth. I want to believe him because he told me all he thinks about besides using is being inside me. He claims when I'm not around or not home and with my boyfriend he gets jealous and watches our video. Still though I don't really know, it's hard to believe an addict who's using. Regardless we were able to fool around a few more hours before our parents got back and I'm really hoping to find an out later tonight so I can leave my boyfriends and be with him again.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 12, 2018 at 8:39 PM

#3 here.

No apologies needed. I did a poor job of wording it.

I've bookmark the post. Please drop by and keep us updated on the progress and the sex. If you want to talk direct, leave a message here and I'll leave an email address.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 12, 2018 at 9:02 PM

Where are you from are you a male or female,

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 12, 2018 at 9:52 PM

#5 here. Like I said, I do not judge you because you love to have sex with him. That is perfectly fine, and it is even better if it makes you feel good and if it is the best sex you have ever experienced.

Even though he is high, when he wants to have sex with you, it is not the drug that is talking. Don't worry about it. If he gets clean and will quit doing drugs, he will be there for you for sex. That is for sure. Just look at yourself. You were high, you wanted to have sex with him. You are clean, and now you want to have sex even more with him.

You must make decisions. What do you want from the future? If you want to have sex with him, someday, just like I said, you WILL leave your boyfriend. You can't have both of them, because your boyfriend will be only a set for what happens behind the closed doors. There is no question about it. I may be wrong, but what I read from your words, you only say you love him, and I do believe it is true because leaving a good man doesn't feel good. But are you saying it only because you are afraid that leaving him will make you sad and lost in a new situation?

Can't you see, you are not doing anything to show him you love him. You are with your brother! You have a lust for your brother, and you have love for your brother, and that will slowly, but steadily, lean you to him and only to him and your boyfriend will become obsolete. Be honest with yourself, not with your brother or with your boyfriend. Be honest only with yourself.

Question is, if your brother would be clean, and he could support both of you and he would love you and have sex with you, would you rather be with him, or with your boyfriend?

Would the decision be even easier if you wouldn't be with your boyfriend?

If him blackmailing you, or "owning" you, makes you horny and if that is the "thing" you love between you two, just admit it. It is not wrong to admit a thing like that. You do not need to admit it to me or any other people, because although I write like this, I'm not judging you at all. You need to admit it only to yourself. When you do that, only then you will know where you are standing and what options you will have. I'm a older woman and I know how this world works.

I must say that even though you say you wouldn't date your brother, not even behind closed doors, you do not know what is in the future. You are still young, only 27. Someday you will notice that your internal clock will tell you to stand down, relax and to have a family. You will soon be thirty, then fourty, even then you will have atleast twenty years of good happy living left until your body will start to slow down. You will have atleast thirty years of active life, including active sex life with him.

I don't say that you two will have children, because you can have a family without children too. I say you two will be together if you continue this, and what I read from you, you are not going to quit it any time soon. Maybe someday you feel the need to have children too and that is really powerful feeling, the need to be together. Like you said, he is your brother and what you two have between you two now is one of the most tightest bonds I have ever read anyone living in i****tuous relationship. I have read many times siblings being in love, but what you are telling here, is a light, burning bright. Like I said, I know how you are feeling.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 12, 2018 at 11:38 PM

I do love my boyfriend I do and I truly meant that. I'm not trying to convince myself of it either. I do know also that truth be told what I'm doing behind his back doesn't provide evidence that I do. It's something that is hard for me to put into words. I'd do anything for him, but at the end of the day if I had to choose between my brother and my boyfriend.. my brother every time, again and again. Not just for the sex either. He's my brother, who just happens to be my lover too. If the chance ever came about where we could be together, free of judgement and with not having to fear family finding out I'd have to say that I'd do it. To this point with having judgement clouded by other worldly sex I'd tell myself that I'm just here to feel the unexplainable pleasure to brings me to let him fuck me. I guess I can't lie if I truly sit and think about it. I'd give everything up to be his. He's told me before that he only wants me but I figure it's cause he's high. I said from the start he has been clean but never for a substantial time. I know inside if he stayed clean we could have a life together beyond our wildest dreams because nothing would be off limits. I still don't know if I could have his children but I don't shut that out completely I'd have to explore rhat more. I actually just talked to him and told him that I love him, more than my brother and for more than just sex. That I really love him and couldn't imagine not being with him, that i would do anything and go anywhere for him. I also told him I posted anonymously about everything that's been happening with us. He was mad but I think he got over it. He asked me to spend the night but I can't fall asleep in there, God forbid our parents wake up before us. It was hard to leave his room but I know I can't risk us getting caught. He didn't seem to high at least so I know he was receptive to our talk. I asked him what he wants for us and he said he is open to the idea of trying to build more than just sex. That he too only wants to be with me in that nature. That he can only think of me sexually and no one else even turns him on. He said what about “John” my boyfriend and I told him that when I lay my head on my pillow at the end of the day it's him I think of last, not “John” that if there was a way he could get clean and stay clean and we can get away from here I'd jump. He said he'd try harder to do better. We'll see how that goes I guess. I wish we would've had sex but we didn't, we kissed for awhile and touched each other but that was it. It took every ounce of effort to not have sex with him. Even as I'm replying to you I just wanna go back in there and at least suck his dick and show him what he can have all to himself if he makes the choice to stay clean. He's like a magnetic force it's so hard to stay away from him.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 13, 2018 at 12:56 PM

he is lucky drunk one me and my sister kissed when we were teenagers but I never had the courage to try and do it again even though i have always had the biggest crush on her we never even talked about it when i tried to mention it the next day she told me to leave her room and that something is wrong with me even though she's the one who started kissing me that night we were drunk so thanks for your story it gives me hope that maybe one day me and my sister will get to do the things you and your brother do

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 13, 2018 at 4:02 PM

I commend your honesty it's not often someone admits they enjoy a relationship with family I posted her awhile ago about how I used to have a long time affair with my brother also I'm not sure what it is with brothers and sisters it seems to be much more common than people think and more common than any other family members I can identify completely with it being something no one would understand besides the 2 of you involved just be careful though that one of you don't want more than the other one will be able to give cause it coils potentially ruin the amazing sex trust me he was the one who kept pushing a family and more not me but I wouldn't leave my husband and potentially ruin my family I was in my late 30s before anything ever happened with my brother but when it did it lasted well over the next 6 years and it was often too a brother and sister can always find an excuse to have to do something together what you really do no one else would have any inclination of at least for us that was the case we'd quite often sneak away to a hotel for a few hours just so we could act how we wanted to eat dinner hold hands kiss in public then have a few hours left to go upstairs and make the most passionate love I've ever encountered before it wasn't fucking after the first few times it became true passion and love cuddling and I love you exchanges it was a special time in our lives but once he started pushing me to leave my husband and be with him move away and be husband and wife give him kids of his own it was overbearing and I had to cut him off sometimes I still wish it could be different but I know I made the right choice regardless I commend you on your honesty as most people hide what really happens between family members more often than anyone would like to believe

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 13, 2018 at 11:07 PM

Hey just saw your comments and wanted to thank you for all the support. It really means a lot to me as I had nowhere to turn and no one to talk to about this. I genuinely thank you for your understanding and not judging me. It's helpjng me a lot more than you'd know. To the previous 2 posts thank you guys also for sharing a little about your experiences so I don't feel alone. I always knew I couldn't be the only one but still it's nice when that's confirmed too. I'll check back later and give you any updates if there are any to give. So far though nothing has happened today I was gone most of the night with my boyfriend and worked this morning and afternoon.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 18, 2018 at 6:25 AM

This is one of the best posts I've read and no.10 I dont know of many males with soaking wet pussies. So pretty easy answer.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Oct 25, 2018 at 9:16 AM

#9 here. Any progress with your brother's rehab? Are you still having plenty of mind blowing sex?

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