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  • — Men Only —
    Straight Male / 41

    My wife died of ovarian cancer when our daughter was just ten. I needed help and on a friends recommendation I posted an add at the university for a full time nanny for her and in addition to room and board I would pay for her tuition. I got a couple of answers, one from this girl who was a senior in the music program wanting to be a cellist. She was stiff when we talked and said she knew this and that but really she didn't know very much but she at least was honest about needing the financial assistance as she had already run up over sixty thousand in student loans.

    She and my daughter got along fine, my daughter really needed a female figure in her life. The girl had duties in addition to watching my daughter after school, like help with her homework, and some light housekeeping that the maid service didn't get to and she had dinner duty. We went out to eat a lot because she didn't know how to cook. One day I overheard my daughter talking to a friend and told her about her 'step mother'. I questioned the girl about this and she told me she had not heard anything about it. Not long after that I heard my daughter call her 'mommy' when asking for a decision on what to wear to school. I didn't hear any correction from the nanny. I came to find out that when they were alone they played mommy.

    My daughter's referral to her nanny as mommy became the operative word in the house and her statement to her teacher that her nanny was her step mother as well as to kids and adults at church. I got asked about it, when had I gotten married and why didn't her step mom come to church with us. Correcting the misconception seemed to get more negatives than positives. Mommy became the word, she understood that her real mommy had died but to her this was her new mommy, a 22 year old student who I had hired as a nanny for her.

    On the Sunday following the conversation I had with the women at church I confronted the nanny and asked her if she didn't think this was bad for my daughter for her letting this go on. Her silence said more than any words and I told her that a step mother usually means that she is a wife in the house, not a nanny. Again her silence said more than words. I closed the conversation telling her that if she expected to be called mommy she needed to step up and take on the role of wife and mother, not nanny mother.

    That is how I ended up getting married again to a 22 year old who was about to finish college, student debt and all. She had her family and her close friends from her growing up years and a few from college at the wedding. There is an 18 year gap between us, what we have in common is my ten year old. My ex in-laws are not happy with my daughter calling her mommy but there is little they can do about it. I do differentiate between the two, and we have pictures of her natural mother in her room and around the house. My new wife has no problem with the pictures of my deceased wife being on the mantle along with pictures of our wedding, we just put my first wife's wedding pictures away for my daughter when she grows older.

    When my wife died I never figured I would be married again in less than a year, but such is life.

    #42103 — Comments (2) — Oct 30, 2018 at 10:53 AM — That's Juicy! (3) Remove This.
  • 1
    The ending should have wrote: when in luck your in LUCk!!!
  • 2
    When my wife died I never figured I would be married again in less than a year, but When in luck your in luck! Ha

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