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  • — I Hate My Neighbor —
    Straight Male / 44

    I hate thieves. My neighbor is a thief. I hate my neighbor.

    Ron and Sheryl moved into the house next door three years ago. At first they seemed like a nice young couple. He was a young executive and she was a nurse. One would think that would mean they are nice responsible decent civilized human beings. One would be wrong.

    It started when they would ask to borrow things and then neglect to return them then make up excuses why they still needed them. I had to beg to get tools returned when I needed them and most of the time they became irate when I insisted.

    Then they started taking things without asking. The lawn furniture, tools I had left out doors by mistake, planters with plants in them, plants I had planted in the ground. This graduated to packages delivered to my house, the newspaper and other mail.

    My wife and I got fed up.

    Ron and Sheryl had a very expensive pure breed show dog they idiotically left tied up outdoors a lot. They frequently bragged about how expensive it was to buy and train and how much it was worth. The number was different every time but it was something north of ten thousand dollars. I did look up the breed and they are very expensive though perhaps not as much as their claims. So one day they took off for a day trip leaving Fido behind tied up under an awning with nothing but a bowl of warm dirty water. So I went next door and went right up to Fido and said hello. I had treats with me and we became instant best friends. I asked Fido if he'd like a new home in another state. Fido made no objections so I took the dog to a friend of ours who lives about 20 miles away and explained the situation to them and he agreed to take care of Fido until we could find a new home for him. We advertised on line under assumed names and found a buyer in about three weeks. We got $1800. The buyer lived 300 miles away. Meanwhile Ron and Sheryl went ballistic when they came home and found Fido gone. They asked if we had seen their dog or noticed anyone hanging around. We told them we'd gone for the day (we had) and so we weren't there to see.

    On another occasion after we went three weeks without being able to convince them to return our lawn mower so we could satisfy code enforcement's requirement that we keep our lawn under 18" tall, Ron and Sheryl took off for a day trip with their new expensive pure breed puppy. So I got out my bolt cutters and cut the lock off their shed and retrieved my lawn mower. they were kind enough to leave the tank full of gas but I was surprised to see a perfectly operational lawn more in their shed next to ours. I took my mower back and mowed my lawn. then I siphoned gas out of their lawn mower and put it into a gas can in our shed and put that away. Then I locked my mower back up in my own shed. Then just for fun I went out and bought the same kind of lock and put it on their shed. Of course they don't have a key for that. The next time they went to mow their lawn they couldn't unlock their padlock to open the shed. Ron came over and asked if I had bolt cutters he could borrow but I said I didn't own any. So he went out and bought bold cutters and cut the lock I put on. It was worth spending $3.99 for a padlock just to force him to spend $25 on a pair of bolt cutters. When he finally got his shed open he said someone stole my lawnmower and he couldn't mow his lawn. when I asked him about his own lawnmower he claimed he didn't have one despite two days earlier my locking his perfectly operational mower back up in his shed. So not only is he a thief but a liar as well.

    The worst came when they went away on a three week vacation and asked us to watch their house, feed Fido Jr. and water their house plants. They gave me a key so an hour after they left I went next door. I found a few things that we had been missing but then I found in their guest room my old TV I had in the basement and had forgotten about. I went right back home just to make sure we didn't have identical TV's and when I went to check the closet in the basement I found it was missing. Now of course I wasn't using it but that gave them no right to burglarize our house and help themselves. I found lots of things that were ours and each one I went back and found they had been missing from the places we stored them. Mostly it was things we either never used any more or things we didn't use often and almost all of it came from the basement. But the last straw was when I found my Dad's dog tags in a shadow box in Ron's office and purchased medals and insignia and a fake photo of a model in a military uniform as though it was a memorial to a dead relative which clearly it was not. The dog tags had been in the top drawer of my dresser.

    Now it was personal. My wife and I ransacked their place to retrieve every one of our possessions from Ron and Sheryl. We went out and bought a new security system and hired a security company to monitor it. We put up security cameras inside and out, set up alarms and spot lights and even some trip wires. One step on our property and we'd know.

    Revenge came when their real estate tax bill came while they were away. We were saving their mail for them. I tore up that bill. When they came back they didn't seem to notice that we had retrieved our belongings or that their plants were mostly dead. We were not going to do anything bad to an innocent puppy but we were looking for the opportunity to re-home it.

    The mail was delivered every day in the morning after both of them went to work. So every day I checked their mail to make sure they didn't get any bills. Apparently they were the kind of people who only pay bills when they get them. when we have a bill missing we call the company to find out what happened to it. This worked in our favor. The first unpaid bill to go into arrears was their electric bill. We were greatly entertained when the electric company came to shut off their electric while they were at work. Their electronic front door lock doesn't work when the electric is out so they had to go around to the back door to get in then the screaming took place. The gas bill and the water/trash bill were next. The mortgage bills and the tax bills and their reminders and final warnings all went without notice. That was the best. Seeing the look on their faces when the sheriff came to physically evict them, that was the best. I read one letter from the town informing them that they had two weeks to pay the tax or they would auction their house to pay the taxes. I then read the letter from the bank that said that since they refused to pay their home owner's insurance, tax bill and mortgage they had no choice but to foreclose. We hosted a block party the day the house was auctioned off. It turns out we were not the only neighbor they stole from, we were simply the most prolific victim.

    #42697 — Comments (3) — Dec 21, 2018 at 2:27 AM — That's Juicy! (9) Remove This.
  • 1
    Great story. Sweet.
  • 2
  • 3
    Love it!! Evil Genius I call it.

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