My dreams are funny. I basically write out my fantasies and wishes into stories where everything happens like I want. I'm not a bad writer, either. I've got a bunch of stories on Literotica.**m, and several that I can never post there because all characters in my stories must be at least 18. My preferences in women lean heavily towards girls under 18, and it's become so where, while I can admire the body of a woman, especially in a tight-fitting pair of jeans or yoga pants, I'm not exactly turned on by them. But when a younger girl walks past, I get a shiver as I imagine how they'd look naked. I know what I am, and I spend more time hating myself for it than not, but my preferences are what they are, and it takes a lot out of me to pretend every day that I'm anything but one of those sickos.

Anyway, it's not as if I dream of hurting girls, r****g them or degrading them or anything like that. It's not about that for me. My wish is to find a girl who is interested in me, that wants me to teach her how to both give and receive pleasure. i want to give her as much pleasure as she can stand, even if there's no reciprocation, because I enjoy giving. I want her to come to trust me, to come to me and undress, knowing that I'm gonna make her feel good, loved, and be unembarrassed to show herself to me. See, if this were a woman I was wanting, it would be acceptable, but because it's a younger girl I want, I'm a monster. How young, you may ask, well, any girl old enough to have had her period and be interested.

Usually, in my fantasies, it's a girl who finds reasons to be outside, whether she's riding her bike, walking her dog, or maybe she sees my cat in the window and wants to come in and pet it. About three years ago, when I was going through a rough patch, I had to stay with my mom at her apartment, and these two girls found out I had a pet hedgehog and wanted to play with her. But, instead of leaving, they decided I was fun and stayed to play with me. They were only nine and ten, but they trusted me enough to climb on me or sit in my lap, and even show off their panties when they did handstands or roughhoused with each other. I never tried to do anything much with them, since they were too young and I didn't figure they would want much beyond friendly affection, (i.e. hugging, kissing on the cheek) so I kept it as clean as I could.

But I wish I could have a situation like that, but with a girl about three or four years older, where it might evolve into something more.


Oh, btw, if anyone is interested in reading some of my short stories on Literotica.**m (some of my stories are longer and are more suited to those who like to read actual stories and not just a quick jerk-off tale) I post under the username Mr. Pezman.