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  • — My Cheating Heart —
    Straight Female / 50

    Long Term Affair Ended

    I'm a married woman, on the upper end of the "mature" category. I just ended a 15-year affair with a man who I first met at work. At first we were just Platonic work friends, for a couple of years actually, although I will admit to feeling a degree of attraction to him. We'd chat briefly and sometimgiries toss a few slightly off-color jokes at each other when he'd stop at my reception desk on the way to somewhere else several times per week, but it ever went further than that, nor did I ever think it would. We were both married, & seemed to respect each others boundaries.

    One day, he invited me to have lunch with him, and during it, a spark seemed to ignite between us, a bright one. After it was over, he asked if he could kiss me, and I said yes, but when he leaned in to kiss me on the cheek, I surprised the both of us by turning my head at the last second & kissing him on the mouth instead. The kiss was relatively brief & closed mouthed, but nonetheless electric. To make a long story short, by one Saturday afternoon two weeks later, I found myself laying on the carpeted floor of his office with him, the both of us naked, and he was between my thighs as I practically begged him to "Put it in me now!" Yes, those were my exact words, & to this day I still blush when I remember I actually so unncharacteristically said them to him. Needless to say, he did, and the rest is history, as they say. The bright spark had rapidly turned into a roaring inferno. Our affair began, and then it continued for nearly 15 years.

    After that first time, we saw each other every chance we could, & we fucked whenever we manage to arrange a little time alone together. Gradually, his Dominant tendencies came to the fore, & seemed to trigger my own, until then, latent submissive ones. Over time, he had me do things with him, to him, and for him that I'd never done before, not even with my husband, sexual things, & I did them willingly, eagerly, lustfully. I let him use my body and all of my holes however he wanted, whenever he wanted and wherever we could do so with some semblance of safety. We had sex in his SUV, in his office after normal work hours and on weekends when the offices were largely deserted. He forbade me from wearing pants or slacks, only skirts or dresses were allowed. Pantyhose were off limits as well. If my legs were to be covered, it had to be only with sheer thigh-high stockings under my dress or skirt. He started taking me out to dinner after work, and would have me remove my bra & panties during it, so he could touch & finger me intimately right there in the booth with other diners all around us, & I'd get so wet that I could hardly wait for us to get somewhere else so he could fuck me properly.

    In time, he began to rent hotel rooms for our rendezvous, & the sex there got even hotter. When his wife wasn't home, we'd even meet at his house and he'd pound me into the mattress of his marital bed. I'd always be completely naked within a few short minutes after the door to our room or his home closed behind us. Sometimes he'd have me strip and dance naked for him, often positioned so my sensuous gyrations were visible from the street outside thru the window. He'd spank me hard, & not just on my rear, he'd tie me to the bed, tease and arouse me greatly with his fingers, his mouth or sex toys. A collar, cuffs, nipple & pussy clamps, leather belts, & other such devices became a regular part of our foreplay. He called the intimate parts of my body by their vulgar names, rather than their more socially accepted ones... not vagina or even pussy, but c**t... not breasts but tits... not behind or rear, but ass, and he had me always refer to them by those same vulgar words. And then he'd ravage me hard, calling me his slut or his whore, and I loved the feelings of helplessness & total surrender to his will & his every desire, no matter how perveted it might seem to society at large. I'd cum explosively for him, leaving me limp, exhausted, & well satisfied. On more than one occasion he sent me to my husband afterward pantiless under my skirt or dress, and still dripping with his cum. I felt like I couldn't get enough of him, or his hard cock.

    Over time, his domination of me became harder, & I willingly did things for him that, in retrospect, I'm not proud of. I won't go into the details of that here, but some of them would probably have made a professional sex worker blush. At times, he even used to tell me that he was going to bring one or more of his friends to our next "date," so they could also use my body for their pleasure however they wished. Although I never responded that I'd be willing to do that for him, I never overtly rejected the idea either. Whenever he brought it up, I'd just let it sit there like the elephant in the room. He never wound up actually doing it, but if he'd have pushed me on the issue, I'm fairly certain I would have done that for him too.

    Our relationship was as hot as a raging bonfire for a very long time, but towards the latter part of it, I began to feel like he no longer appreciated me like he once did, and the bright, burning spark I'd felt for him for so long began to fade. So after about a year or so in which that trend continued, I ended it. Now my only significant relationship with another male is with my husband, who has significant ED ussues that can't be remedied by a pill or other means, & my sex life is limited to visits from my own fingers.

    Will I take another lover in his place? Likely not, although I suppose it's possible if I met the right man. My body is older now and not what it once was. In truth, I'm somewhat ashamed of it. I still feel strong cravings that are not being fulfilled, even though I try hard to push them from my mind. Do I ever think of my former lover? Of course I do. Will I ever get back together with him and try to rekindle what we once had together? I seriously doubt it, but I've always believed in never say never, so I guess it would be remotely possible under the right circumstances. He's a widow now, so we wouldn't have to hide our activities from his wife any more, but I still have my own marriage to worry about, & I would, even as unfulfilling as it is, not only sexually, but in other ways as well.

    It still amazes me how extremely lucky we were to have been able to carry on such a steamy long term affair without it ever being discovered by my spouse. He's a very intelligent man, actually a professional with his own private practice, but as far as I know, he never even seriously suspected what was going on behind his back... & between his wife's thighs. Would that luck be able to hold out if we rekindled our affair? I'm not sure. When I ask myself if I'd still be willing to to risk my marriage for the promise of potentialy renewed sexual pleasure, one voice in my head says, "Forget about it, J***, be satisfied with your memories," while another says, "Go for it!" Sitting here in the middle between them, all I can honestly answer is... maybe.

    #44446 — Comments (11) — May 12, 2019 at 9:23 AM — That's Juicy! (13) Remove This.
  • 1
    Over the years how many times would you say roughly that his tongue was up your sweaty anus ?
    5/12/19
  • 2
    Pay no attention to the degenerate's comment. As for your husband's e.d. Has he had his hormone levels checked? Specifically, total testosterone, free testosterone, and estrogen, as well as FSH and LH? I'm betting his free testosterone is low, which greatly impacts a man's ability to feel like and be the man he is. Testosterone replacement therapy is what I required, and it worked like magic. I bet I have the libido and energy of a 30y/o.

    Google andropause, and see a competent doctor to get his levels checked. A blue or orange pill does nothing without the desire and drive.
    5/12/19
  • 3
    A nicely written and sexy story. If you think of your life in thirds, you still have a long way to go without sex if you stop now. So why settle? Stay with your husband but don't accept living like a roommate.
    5/12/19
  • 4
    #2. You are a bellend. I bet you swallow cum from assholes on a regular basis. Idiot.
    5/12/19
  • 5
    Tell us about your big dangling meat hangers. Are they big and smelly or nice and pink.
    Is your anus nice and moist with a nice brown tinge
    Also I bet you have a clit like a chapel hat peg. 594hke
    5/12/19
  • 6
    I had a couple of work things like yours. The first's husband was a dork, I dont think they ever had sex and she'd never had an orgasm. She'd never been licked before and decided she really liked it a lot, she'd squeeze my head off clinching her legs together when she'd cum. She started bragging to her friends and our co-workers about it and got reckless, so I had to end it.

    The other was almost a clone of your story. Her boss was single was promised her the moon, but it was all bullshit and she wouldnt listen to anyone else. They eventually got caught and both got fired. He told her he had all this money and would take care of her and it was a lie, she paid a very high price for thinking he'd be her sugar daddy and the sex was horrible.

    If you have a hot one, its hard to give up once youve had the good stuff, as you know.

    I think some people are just sexual soulmates.
    5/12/19
  • 7
    This is J***, the original poster. I'd like to thank those who took the trouble to post comments to my story so far, i.e. comments thru #6.

    I won't bother reponding to commenters #1, #4 and #5, since they are obviously trolls, nor will I even acknowledge any such future comments. It would be a waste of my time. Actually, I strongly suspect that at least two, and possibly even all three were written by the same person, since there were similarities in their styles and a commonality of the use of Brit slang. I can accept criticism, even non-constructive criticism, but these were neither. They were simply immature name-calling

    As for commenter #2, thank you for sharing the benefit of your experience. My husband's ED problems began after his prostate cancer surgery. He consulted several doctors about it, with the following results. Both the yellow and blue pills you referenced had some positive effect, but gave him terrible, long-lasting headaches, so he had to discontinue taking them. At the recommendation of another doctor, he tried hormone replacement therapy, but it had no significant positive effect on his ability to obtain and retain an erection long enough for it to do either of us any real good. So thank you again, but it appears we are at an end to searching for a solution. In addition, he gave up long ago on finding a solution to the problem, and has told me more than once that he's perfectly willing to live with it as is. Unfortunately, my own inability to adopt the same attitude was a significant factor in me starting my affair. Now, I'm not sure what I'm going to do from here.

    Commenter #3, thank you for your very positive comments on my writing style. I fully realize that I (hopefully) have a lot of life still ahead of me, and the prospect of living them celibate is not one which I enjoy. Given a reasonable altenative, that is definitely not my preference. On the other hand, as I alluded to near the end of my tale, I'm not confident that I could find another lover, and if I did find one, that I could be as lucky as I was the first time I strayed, and keep the relationship from being discovered. In addition, I have no intention of leaving my husband, for private reasons with a much broader impact on my life in general.

    Commenter #6, thank you also for sharing your experiences. Regarding yor first experience, my sex life with my husband was adequate before his surgery, maybe not ideal for me, but adequate. Once my affair began, I never mentioned anything about it to anyone, not to friends, not to even my own sister. I'm sure that was a significant factor in why it remained undiscovered. If I should happen to begin another affair, or rejuvenate the previous one, I'd definitely take the same approach.

    As for your second experience, my long-term lover wasn't my boss at work, we simply worked at the same firm, but in totally separate departments, me in Adminstration, and he in Information Systems. He never promised me anything, not work-related, or relating to our relationship. As a matter of fact, he was up front right from the start that he had no intention of ever leaving his wife. In return, I told him I had no problem with that, and didn't intend to leave my husband either. Although our relationship was deeply rooted in its sexual aspects, we both cared for each other well beyond that, but knew it just wouldn't work for us on a full-time basis. Furthermore, he actually left the firm several years before our affair ended. At that point, neither he or our relationship could have affected my job in any way. That didn't stop us from seeing each other fairly regularly, nor did it quench the fire that burned between us.

    We definitely did have a "hot one," as you so aptly put it, and I know full well how hard it was for me to give that up. We were, in fact, sexual soulmates, our needs in that area not only compatible, but perfectly matched. Do I miss him? Absolutely, and I don't mean just his cock, although that impressive appendage is what is foremost in my mind when my fingers are acting as a poor replacement for it. I miss all of him, including his personality, his smile, his sense of humor, and the complements he often paid me when we were not in a D/s situation that did wonders for my ego, complements I never got from my husband, and still don't.

    So now, about a year after ending that relationship, I sit here, still undecided as to what to do, miserable and getting more so every day.
    5/13/19
  • 8
    #6 here. I know exactly what you mean. After my workmate ended it, we were never close again, probably because I considered it over when she abandoned me and lied to me about her boss.

    My replacement for her soon after has lasted 20 years and mirrors the type of thing you had. She's been divorced and remarried, I tried to give her space to make her new marriage work, but it was one just so she had someone in the house, she loves him but like a brother more than a lover. Even though a thousand miles separate us and we havent had sex in many years, she is a regular part of my life that I need and never want to do without.

    My spouse and other past lovers, sex seems a struggle, you have to think about it too much almost to the point of it feeling fake. With her, its natural and we instinctively know what the other person wants, needs, or might want to explore without a second thought, and it satifies you down to your core. The ones who have had it know what I mean.

    Good luck in your journey, hope you find your path...
    5/15/19
  • 9
    This is J*** again, the woman who started this post. After giving it a lot of thought, I decided to send a text to my former lover/Dom, & ask him if he'd meet with me to talk over the possibility of us getting back together. I still had some anxiety about meeting with him, so to make it safe, I insisted our meeting be in a public place during daylight hours. He agreed, so now we're scheduled to meet for lunch in a restaurant at a SH shopping mall in a few days. Although I haven't told him yet, I'm going to insist that, if we're going to rekindle our relationship, it's going to have to be with some significant limitations, so I have some control over it, not like before where he had all the control.

    If anyone seems interested, I'll let you now what happens here.
    5/21/19
  • 10
    I think to keep from sneaking around, you should come home and strip down to your panties and bra. Walk up to your husband and give him a show. If he is not reacting then you become the dominate one. Climb on top of him and tell him you love him and understand his situation with his ED. Kiss him and tell him you want him to worship your body, if not with his cock, then with his tongue. Show him your serious and you want his mouth to suck your tits when you want him too and your pussy. Kiss him and say your serious and take his hands and tell him to free your tits as they need sucked. As he takes your bra off he can seehow erect your nipples are. With him sucking, you rub his cock. Ask him if he will do as you say, because you are now going to make sure he does this for you. You tell him to peel your wet panties off. You then tell him you want his tongue in your pussy tasting your juices. As he licks your pussy tell him if you know his cock cant work like you want it, but his tongue can work and you tell him he will lick your pussy from now on and no excuses. As your controlling the situation, you ask him, "If I got bold enough to come home with my pussy filled with cum, would it turn you on my hubby?", as your grinding your pussy on his tongue. Then if he moans yesss, then you can fuck that guy all tge time and come home and hubby wont feel left out, but get tge reward of your pussy juices and cum as you cum hard every time and dont have to sneak around. Hot idea eh?
    5/25/19




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