We are lesbian girls from Luqa

GUILT

That's what my mother used to control us. My cousin and I were both of the same year and we were both named Mary, as in the Virgin Mary. We were twelve and spending the night over and my mother caught comparing our new boobs. Down stairs we went, she sat at the dining room table and the talk began.

Religion, recited from memory

Now you are going to become women, but right now you are girls. You are girls until your father finds the right man for you to marry and he gives you away. You will notice that your mammary glands are coming out, just like a flower blossoms in the sun. Your body is built like that and it takes quite a long time for your bodies to become full flowers. When you are your father will find a man for you He will find a man for you, not you.

You are not to disrespect your bodies, no man is to touch your breasts, no man is to touch your birth canal. You, unlike man have been given the body to bring forth life. Until that time you are to remain pure and not embarrass your father or bring shame on his house.

You were named after the VIRGIN Mary, VIRGIN. Unlike the rest of us, after man sinned, we are thrown amongst the animals and the animal way is the way in which you will bring forth life. The Virgin Mary was selected by God Himself to bear his son, and she and only she has had a virgin birth. You will not, that too is God's will. Your father will find the man for you and he alone will give you away, until that time you are to honor your name sake, the VIRGIN Mary. (So many do you understands that we just nodded).

Then we went to Biology class.

Your body has mammary glands and it has a womb. These are for children. You are born to have children, you will have children, it is God's wish. A man will come to you in the night, the man that your father selects for you, and he will like the animals in the field approach you and mount you. Until that time you will remember your namesake, the VIRGIN Mary. You will be put upon, you will want to fight, but God has said that you will cleave to your husband and that is His word and you will cleave. (Again lots of do you understands? and lots of heads shaking).

Dress code

You will not expose yourself amongst men (or boys). I do not approve of some of the things that I see in the street. Modesty is next to Godliness. Only one man is to gaze upon you, the man that your father selects for you. (Again do you understand?)

Our place in the home

You are no longer children, you are now young women and you will take your place as women of the house. You will help with the younger children, you will help your mother in the kitchen and with the home, you will look upon your father and honor him in all that you do, you will look upon your brothers as you look upon your father.

Marriage

The day came when my mother called me into the room and told me my father had approved of a young man and that I was to be married. He was the son of a respectable family and I was scheduled to be married on my seventeenth birthday. I was dressed in my mother's dress and she combed my hair and she held my hands and she told me to honor my husband as I honored my father. My body was going to call out to me to cleave to my husband. That is God's will. I was married on my seventeenth birthday in the year 1993. My cousin was soon married after my father gave approval for her husband.

Lesbians

My cousin and I from those days when we were young girls found that our bodies cried out for each other, our bodies cry out for each other to this day. We gave our husbands what God had commanded, but if the truth be told we cleaved to one another, it is there, when we lie beside each other and talk in whispers and our hearts beat against each other and our warm kisses cover our face, we are one. We have so many times apologized to the Virgin Mary, but it must be God's will that he saw fit to put us side by side, born to two sisters the same year, that we are in His Grace, for He made us like this, to hold hands and walk side by side. He put us together in the same house, my father to take in her mother when her father died, to be her father as well as mine. We have honored our husbands as my mother commanded to us, we have given our bodies to bring children into the world, we have done all these things and we have never dishonored our father in public. If our lives offend you so be it.

That we are lesbians is not of our making. We have been lesbians since we first shared a bed together when her father died and my father became her father.

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