I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. My job keeps me out late and in the current environment is essential so I'm still out all day. Several days ago I came home around 9 in the evening. Typically at this time I'll find my wife Carrie and my 9 year old son Robby watching television together. Generally I'll come in, kiss Carrie hello, then go over to Robby's seat, lift him out of the chair with a big hug, then drop him back into my lap so we can all watch tv together for a half our or so before Robby has to go to bed. He still lets me which is nice, considering I was never sure how long that would last. I don't see him nearly as often as I want to because of how much I work.

So one day last week I came home expecting to find things as they usually are. But they weren't. Carrie was there at the dining room table but not Robby. She wasn't watching TV, just sitting there. She had her serious "we need to talk" face on. Naturally I was scared something had happened to Robby so I asked her where he was. Carrie didn't answer me, only told me to sit dowm. When I sat she took my hand and told me she wanted me to meet someone.

When she said this a little girl walked into the room. She was barefoot and her toes were painted with a clear coat. She was wearing an orange dress cinched at the waist with a belt. Her arms were bare and her short hair had white barrettes in it. I was totally at a loss, though I know it was denial now.

The girl waled right up to my chair and said "Daddy, my name is Rebecca and I love you very much". I couldn't deny anymore thay this was my son. I was speechless, paralyzed. Robby looked up at me with wet eyes and I could tell that he was shaking with fear, or maybe embarrassment or excitement, I really couldnt tell but now I think he was afraid of my reaction.


There wasn't a reaction. I must have looked like a statue or someone frozen in time. Robby told me he loved me again but I couldn't react. At this point Carrie pulled me out of my seat. She took me upstairs and showed me a chest she always kept that I assumed held personal items for her. Instead what she showed me inside was a folded wardrobe of little girls' underwear and socks ank skirts and tops and dresses. Also there was a memory stick. Carrie put it in a computer and showed me years worth of photos of Robby starting from maybe 4 years old, posing and dancing around the house in girls clothing but also just sitting or napping or watching television.

I realized that my wife and child had been living a secret life behind my back. I started crying. Just bawling, humiliating on the floor of my room. Carrie told Robby to give us some time and she held me for a while. I was crying with shock and sadness but also anger. How could Carrie have kept this from me? I would have argued against it, sure, but at least we could have come to a decision together about Robby's behavior.

Carrie told me that Robby had been dressing as a girl upon returning home from school since kindergarten. She told me she entertained it thinking it was a phase, like if she let him play it out it would be over. It wasn't. Robby told her he was a girl.

So Carrie put in some half measures. She wouldn't allow him to go out as female but she let him live that way at home. For years that went on and I never knew. She said that since the lockdowns had taken hold he had been living as a girl from the morning when he woke up to the late hour I'd come home from work.

Carrie told me it was now time for Robby to become the girl he wanted to be, that he believed he was. Carrie told me she loved me but Robby was more important. She said that the two of them were going to move to a new state and allow Robby to live full time as Rebecca. She said I could get with the program and join them or I could stay behind. She said she would give me time to think but that this is how it was going to be.

So that is my choice. Allow my son to become my daughter or lose him. Easy decision, right? I'm not some right wing crazy who would want to chuck my little boy into an asylum if I knew about his proclivities. If this was all it was I could "get with the program".

My problem, as is the theme of this site, is sexual. Since I myself was young I have been masturbating to pictures of young-looking boys dressed up as girls and having their dresses flipped up and getting fucked in the ass. Ive been aroused by those pathetic sissy boys being abused and taught that if they want to be a bitch they can get fucked like one. Another reason I think I cried when I ssaw the pictures of "Rebecca" is that my cock started to get hard.

In short I want to fuck my son. I want to force his sissy mouth down on my dick, then wrench his skinny legs apart and stuff his pussy full of cock. If he wants to be a bitch then he'll be my bitch.

Those horrible thoughts make it impossible for me to accept my wife's ultimatum because I'll never allow myself to hurt Robby. But losing my child and my wife will destroy me. Id kill myself within a month. It's horrible and I can't win no matter which decision I'll make.

I dont know how to deal with this and I need help.

Comments

Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jun 4, 2020 at 2:59 PM

Please stop using He/Him to refer to your daughter. The rest of this I don't care but that is disrespectful.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jun 5, 2020 at 6:15 AM

If this is a real story, you're right, you do need help. It is encouraging that you know your thoughts are fucked up, but you can at least start there with a therapist or something. For your kid's sake, you know what you need to do.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jun 6, 2020 at 2:14 PM

Disgusting to say the least. I have no advice but I do feel tons of sympathy for all 4 in your family, You, Carrie, Robby and Rebecca. I cannot imagine what would happen if the same occurred in my family. I am fully depressed just thinking of it. May God give you and your family his love and directions.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 21, 2020 at 5:29 AM

hot, teach your daughter well, she wants to please you and needs your affection

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