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— I Hate My Neighbor —... and I probably should have. He is nothing but a white trash, wannabe gangsta, and we live in the fucking suburbs for Christ's sakes.
When I first moved in, I caught his fat little rugrat brat of a son stealing my mail. I just about killed the little bugger where he stood, but I figured, he's young... this is obviously something that the parents need to deal with. So I turned him in to his daddy, who didn't have much to say in his defense.
Turns out, the kid learns all of his bad behaviors from good ol' dad.
The guy likes to stay up late, really late, every night... playing loud rap music, throwing parties, drinking, and smoking pot on his front porch (yes, on his FRONT PORCH). I have nothing against pot smokers, but smoking on the front porch? In a nice middle-class suburban neighborhood? Give me a break. You're not "cool" because you get high, and this isn't the ghetto. Go smoke your weed privately in your basement like the rest of the suburban hippie throwbacks in the neighborhood.
As for the staying up all night part -- yeah, okay, I only know he stays up all night because I do too. But that's because I work nights. This guy DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A JOB. He makes his WIFE work while HE plays Mr. Mom. He's not even good at that. His kid runs around the neighborhood causing trouble all day long, and his dad is never outside watching him or spending any time with him (he's most likely in his basement getting stoned or drunk and doing "gangsta" poses in the mirror or something).
He thinks he's a gangsta, he dresses like a gangsta and tries to act "hard". Did I mention we live in the suburbs? I've lived in the ghetto before, I know what real gangstas look and act like. He's not one of them. I'll bet he's never been in a ghetto in his entire life. He's about 140 pounds of shit in a 5-foot-4 sack. Puny little white guy. I could knock him out cold with a dirty look, I wouldn't even have to lay my hands on him. My GIRLFRIEND could beat him up.
His friends are all losers, wasteoids, drug dealers and douchebags. They all drive piece of shit cars that they park in front of my house, leaking oil and all kinds of fluid in the street. They bring their snot-nosed kids over to play with his snot-nosed kid, and they all leave their toys on my lawn. I have half a mind to go out there and stomp them all into little bits and pieces, toss them into my neighbor's yard and set them on fire. You don't need more toys, white trash kid. Go tell your white trash parents to stop getting high and start spending some goddamn time raising you.
The kids also like to torture critters and stray animals in the neighborhood. Cats, dogs, raccoons, birds, rabbits -- you name it, they've intentionally either maimed or killed them. They've attempted to harm my girlfriend's cats. I comforted her by promising her that whatever they do to her cats, I will in turn do to them. I catch one of those brats kicking a cat? I will kick one of those brats. I'm not even kidding. I have much more respect for animals than I do for unruly and disrespectful children, and I won't hesitate to kill one of them to teach their parents a lesson in parenting. Don't want your kid getting killed? Teach them to fucking respect their elders, especially when they're on someone else's property.
Where was I... oh, yes. About the time I almost killed my neighbor. The father, like his son, also likes to torture critters. Go figure. I wonder why these winners haven't ended up forming a modern-day Manson family cult. Maybe they have to sell enough drugs to be able to afford their desert hideaway first. Who knows. Anyway...
So the "dad" (if you can call him that) likes to shoot off fireworks. Did I mention that? And no, we're not talking about the Fourth of July. This was more like April. April 3rd maybe. Who knows. Anyway, shooting off fireworks is a regular thing for this douchebag. He gets a thorough kick out of it. And I'm not talking about really cool fireworks with lots of light and colors, or even really explosive stuff. No, immature pussy shit. Like bottle rockets and firecrackers. Yeah. He loves to shoot this crap off at 3 in the morning. On a Wednesday night. In the middle of, say, September. He doesn't care. He's an immature idiot loser who is easily amused, I guess.
So anyway... I go outside one night because I hear him shooting off bottle rockets... and I notice one or two of them landing in my yard. We're in the middle of a drought, so my grass is kind of dry. Naturally I'm a little concerned. I go out with the intention of saying "hey, look, can you try to be a little more careful? Some of those are landing on my lawn, and I don't want them to start a fire."
But then I notice something. There are a couple of raccoons in my yard... and he is actually aiming the bottle rockets AT them. Intentionally AIMING his fireworks for my lawn, with the intent of harming some vermin. Just "for the fun of it," I guess. Pathetic! What is this guy, in junior high or something? Sad part is, he's probably about 35 years old. Older than I am.
Yeah. We've got ourselves a real winner here, don't we?
So then he sees me outside, looking around, examining the "evidence" on my lawn. He sneaks back into his house, quietly, acting like he was never there. Even though I clearly saw him hiding out on his front porch, a burning doobie in his hand. He figures, it's night time, it's dark out, maybe I didn't see him. Or so he hopes. I shoot an angry glance towards his house -- you know, sort of a warning glance. As if to say, "I caught you, don't let me catch you doing this shit again." So then I go back inside. Turn off my porch light. Act like everything is okay, like I went to bed or something. Of course, I didn't go to bed... I'm actually waiting, in the dark, by the window, watching and waiting for him to do something again.
One minute goes by... then two, then three. Nothing. Just when I think he is done playing his bottle rocket games, here comes another bottle rocket -- once again, right onto my lawn.
I literally snapped. I grabbed my knife (closest weapon to me at the time), threw my door open, and stormed out onto my lawn. I picked up the burning bottle rocket and threw it at his porch. Then I pulled out my blade, brandishing it in the moonlight, letting the sonovabitch get a good look at it before I gutted him with it. I've never seen anyone jump and scramble into their house so fast in my life. He slammed the door behind him, and I heard his door lock, and saw all of his lights go out. I stood out there for a few minutes, expecting him to come back out with a gun or something. I was foaming at the mouth, growling with rage. I was hoping he would come back out with a gun, so that I would have a valid excuse to stab him -- even if he did manage to get off a shot or two first. It would have been worth it. I doubt he's even a good shot anyway, if he even owns a gun. He's not really as "gangsta" as he tries to appear.
Five minutes went by, and nothing. He never came back out. He hasn't spoken to me since, and hey -- I haven't seen or heard him setting off any fireworks or setting foot on my property for any reason, either. He won't even look at me when I'm outside in my yard. I'll be honest, it's been relatively pleasant ever since that night. I don't think he realized, that I literally fear nothing, and that I don't give a shit. I'm not afraid to defend my property by any means necessary. BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. Including murder. He's lucky I went out there with my knife instead of my Beretta, he might not be alive today.
I think he learned a valuable lesson that night, though. I think he learned that being a "gangsta" isn't about getting high, or listening to rap music, or wearing baggy shorts and acting hard. It's about standing up for yourself, for your posse, and your shit, and not backing down to anyone, anywhere, anytime. No fear. Being willing to do anything to protect your property and to gain respect. I showed him that day, that the real gangsta is not the punkass little bitch that he sees in the mirror... no, the REAL gangsta is the seemingly normal-looking psychotic motherfucker who moved into the house next door, and who isn't about ready to put up with his shit or anybody else's.
Now STAY OFF MY LAWN MOTHERFUCKER or I'll bust a cap in your ass. I'm not even kidding. #5028 — Comments (7) — 9/17/2009 at 3:52 AM — That's Juicy! (0) — That's Lame. (0)
You poor, poor thing, you need me for a neighbour, to help you out. I would be more than happy to help.
Have you tried spells, go to: "How to Get Rid of Your Neighbour" + spells and google this. You may need to visit your local 'shop' that sells spiritual items, and get advice. They claim this really works. Also try african magick, Diaspora. Be careful, the reverse can happen if you don't know what you are doing.
I am trying bagua mirrors, the Feng Shui types, concave. I hung 100 of them on the adjoining fence next to my 'shit' neighbours, the middle easterns from Hell. The male has 5 wives and 10 kids, the social security don't care, and can't touch them with a barge pole, cos' it may be vilification and social incorrectness, they have their own rules and own laws, they don't have to attend tribunal hearings, they just don't show up.
They collect cars, expensive cars, the middle eastern car dealing gang is everywhere, and social security helps them buy the cars, they get more than $4,000 a fortnight here in Australia. If they get another baby that is $10,000 per baby, carer's allowance, is $2,000 a fortnight, and he claims he is 'incapacitated' and needs 'looking' after. Gee, that's funny I thought, he runs around doing errands, comes and goes in lavish cars, his middle eastern druggie friends are all dealers, and the government looks after this 'fucking vermin'.
Give me a break, please.
Try the bagua mirrors, they will move, the negative energy they emit to your property will deflect and repel them away.
Throw an egg on their roof, only when you know they sleep. You say they don't seem to sleep, well try it anyway, they claim the egg makes them move, they will move shortly after.
Good luck and please hope that my horrible neighbours get re located too, they want to enlarge the family, how about that, rely on welfare and never have to work a day in their fucking lives, the fucking arseholes.
Wish my middle eastern neighbours go back to the fucking desert where they came, cos' their backyard resembles a fucking desert full of sticks and empty boxes, whilst mine is a virtual micro rainforest, full of trees, flowers, waterfountains, feng shui elements.
These arseholes are wrecking my aura, positive chakras, and healing and therapy that I have spent on my Feng Shui Garden.
Good Luck
This person has a genuine problem and should really kill their neighbour!
So piss off, scumbag