No takers?
This is a chance of a lifetime. You won't have to go through the drudgery of wiping your own ass I will do it for you, and I will really wipe it good for you. I would make sure to wipe your ass so good that I would even sniff your ass when I am finished wiping you.
Maybe this isn't such a bad idea - I'm 24 and I can't reach very well because I weigh about 325. How do I get a hold of you?
You know and I know that you do not weigh 325 pounds. If I could I would wipe your ass with your husband's face but I am sure you are not married because who would marry a whale?
18-25...stones in weight? Hope you got a lot of paper for the four bean burritos I had for a snack.
I will make sure that I have plenty of toilet paper.