I did originally post this confession in "My Cheatin' Heart", but maybe it comes better under "Women Only". Here it is:

I had a friend I had known for years who I had met because he had problems and needed to talk to someone. The person he ended up speaking to was me. I didn't mind it so much at first, I was happy to help him, but after a while I began to suspect he wanted more to our friendship than I did. He was phoning me several times a week and sending me letters. He told me he was self-harming which I am aware a lot of people do and I used to do myself a long time ago. But then when he did it, he apologised to me, as if it was my problem.
Anyway, we had a mutual friend who liked me as more than a friend and I was unaware of this for a while. The screwed up friend was aware of this and insinuated to the one who liked me that there was something between him (the one with problems) and me, when as far as I was concerned there definitely wasn't. Luckily, this didn't deter the one who liked me from pursuing me; in the end I got to know him and we started going out with each other.

Obviously my friend with problems wasn't happy about this, and started trying to cause problems for us from the word go. He also told lies about me behind my back to some of my other friends, which obviously upset me as I had been there for him for a few months by this time. Nothing was ever really said about all this, although my boyfriend and me sometimes argued after the screwed up one had been causing trouble.

After a few years, my boyfriend and I split up and I began to see more of my friend with problems. I was prepared to let bygones be bygones and he seemed to have matured a lot by then. We became closer and one night ended up kissing. I wasn't really sure how I felt about him, whether I wanted him as a boyfriend, or whether we should leave things as they were. I fancied and liked him a lot by this time, but I wasn't sure whether it would work out as a relationship between us. I knew how much he thought about me and I thought of him as a great friend, but I knew I would never care or love him as much as he would about me. Plus there was someone else who I had a bit of a thing about. He was unreliable and I knew a relationship with him wouldn't work out, but the chemistry between us was great and although I've not been around much, I was sure a bit of a fling wouldn't do any harm.

In the end I went out with my friend with problems, and it was nice, but it was apparent to me from quite early on that the chemistry between us just wasn't there. I told him from the start that I wasn't too sure about what I wanted from our relationship, but he said that was fine with him. I was also thinking about the other one that I liked quite a lot. One of the problems I was having in my relationship though was that we were not having sex. My boyfriend had something wrong with him and was physically unable to make love to me. Although we were having oral sex, we never had actual penetration which was extremely frustrating. The lack of physical closeness between us also meant that it was harder to be emotionally close. I wouldn't have minded buying a strap on or something, or using other forms of penetration, but being a virgin he didn't know what he was missing out on, and I didn't know how to approach the subject. He was very sensitive about most issues, and I was afraid of insulting his masculinity. But I did think the world of him, and despite the lack of sex I found myself falling in love with him. I told him this one night which I regretted after what happened next.

In the end the inevitable happened. The lack of sex was almost killing me, I wanked so much I almost wore out my clitoris, but it still wasn't enough. I used to see quite a lot of the friend I had a crush on, and one night we got drunk and ended up sleeping together. I realised things couldn't go on as they were, I knew that I couldn't stay with my boyfriend if I was going to end up doing this kind of thing to him. I had only had two boyfriends before, but infidelity was something I looked down on and I had never been unfaithful before.

My boyfriend was devastated when I told him. I didn't tell him the real reason, but told him instead that I didn't want a relationship. He just couldn't understand it when things seemed to him to have been going so well. I made sure I was there for him after we split up as we had agreed to remain friends, and we saw each other at least once a week. In the end though he decided that he just couldn't handle being friends and now we don't see each other at all.

He says he's lonely, but he tries to make friends with people, especially girls, by telling them all his problems as soon as he meets them. People tend to feel sorry for him from the start, but then he becomes too clingy and that's it, he's there in your face all the time. I know for a fact that sometimes he makes up problems just to get sympathy. I feel sorry for him sometimes, but he does nothing to help himself. He just gets off on sympathy, but can't seem to see this. Or rather, he knows about it but doesn't want to do anything about it. When I started going out with him this was something I thought he had stopped doing, otherwise I would never have become his girlfriend in the first place. I am convinced he decided he "couldn't be friends" with me any more just so he had another problem to add to his list to tell people, which I guess showed he can't have cared that much about me in the first place. I know I was wrong to sleep with someone else, but after I was there for him so many times and all the trouble he caused me when I was with my previous boyfriend I have just lost patience with him and he can fuck off as far as I'm concerned.