• Adult Confessions
    — Anything Goes —
    I'm way too nice a guy to say this to you but here's why were no longer together. You are abolutely terrible in bed.

    I mean there really is no nice way to put it. You are the william hung of sex, minus the laughs, and the fact that you are quite stunning looking.

    You prove the axiom that the better looking a girl is the worse she is in bed. No, you flicking your tongue on my penis at random intervals like a epileptic snake isnt going to make me orgasm, and than asking my every ten seconds if im close doesnt help either. Sex requires motion and friction. When we flip over and your on top, after much complaining, you just sitting there while nice to look at isnt going to make me spontaneously ejaculate. It boggles my mind that you are so bad and lazy at this.

    Please never try dirty talk again with anyone else, im sorry i mentioned it, very sorry.

    Your a terrible kisser. Just opening your mouth isnt kissing. It's like kissing a zombie and still freaks me out. I was watching night of the living dead last night and broke out into cold sweats because of the painful memories it brought up.

    Here's a confession within a confession, I use to fake orgasms with you so I could go in the bathroom and jack off, and yes my hand was way better!!!

    So why did i last four months with you? Well lets face it, your beautiful and way out of my league. It was entirely shallow of me and yes ive learned my lesson. Remember that time you were trying on some new outfits and i had you stop while wearing that thong and masturbated looking at your great ass? That was the best sex I had with you. Your nice to look at period.

    Three days after we broke up I hooked up with a former fling. A cute chunky girl who's nowhere in your league looks wise, but guess what, IT WAS AWESOME. She saved me years of therapy and I almost broke down crying several times from the relief.

    So consdier myself properly chastized, and when im out with my average looking future girlfriend and see that hot chick in the little mini im just going to giggle at the poor idiot with her.

    So in the end, thank you making me appreciate the women in my life up to but not including you and after.
    #8935 — Comments (5) — 1/16/2010 at 2:22 PM — That's Juicy! (6) — Lame (1)
  • 1
    Funny, ..my experience has been much the same. Thanks for sharing!
    1/16/10
  • 2
    so pretty girls are bad in bed unless they're porn stars huh?
    2/8/10
  • 3
    Great story
    2/10/10
  • 4
    I am one of those average looking girls...I had lunch with my ex yesterday (he left me for a "trophy girl" and years have past since) we are still friends though.... He told me that "looks are not everything" and that he misses many things about me... I am now happily married to a wonderful guy and yes "we have a fabulous sex life" .. one of my personal rules is to "never turn my husband down" if he wants me..." I think that is the secret to a successful relationship".
    2/10/10
  • 5
    I don't think that what you are saying it's fair, I bet there's 'average looking' or even ugly girls that are bad in bed as well, same way there must be beautiful girls that rock your world when having sex, if anything the lesson here should be that you can not tell how good or bad in bed a person is just by the way they look.
    2/20/10
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