• Adult Confessions
    — I Hate My Neighbor —
    Once again, greetings from beautiful downtown Dundas, Canada.

    Okay- Came home from work early (the perks of flex time). Not one, not two, but three of the trashy neighbours sitting on their front porch (at least I assume there is a porch still there- who could see under all the s*$# that has been parked there since before Labour Day). And one teen skank is still wearing a housecoat at 3 15 in the afternoon!

    Now I know, she could possibly be a nightshift worker who just woke up, but I'm too old for fairytales! That would actually mean that I would have to believe that any of them have jobs or attend school..... and my mother didn't raise me to be stupid. Unfortunately, it appears that their mother has raised them stupid. Or at least ignorant and foulmouthed. I'm assuming that they are all the spawn of this woman. I could be wrong, again, but....

    Since Mother Nature was not kind last evening, and the lightening bolt didn't make them and my problems disappear, I guess I'll have to continue to fantasize about other methods to expedite their departure. A sinkhole might be more amusing, but the logistics are a little difficult.... for now.
    #9243 — Comments (1) — 9/8/2010 at 6:19 PM — That's Juicy! (2) — That's Lame. (3)
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    Draw them out one by one, take the oldest (mother, father, whomever) and (While being the only one in their house) invite them over for coffee. (Controlled environment) NOTE** DO NOT walk on the grass or anywhere but the pavement, do not call them, go over in person. use NO technology. Once they are inside your house, wait for one of them to go to the bathroom, as they walk past you, extend your right arm around the neck, **IMPORTANT** your elbow (inner part) must be around their adam's apple (location) and your hand around the back of their neck, pinch with your elbow as hard as you can, take your left arm and wrap it around the back of their neck grabbing their chin pressing HARD with your forearm forward placing their neck in a lock, squeeze hard, and twist in a snapping motion. If the lack of air doesn't make them pass out, the broken neck will. Once unconsciousness, take to your bathtub, and penetrate the corroded artery. Within seconds they will bleed out. Grab grab bags and double bag them, insert body parts one by one. Wash out tub, use a bleach/JEX mixture. Wash tub normally afterward. Take off clothes and toss them in a separate bag. Find a location that isn't near anything, such as a river that not a lot of people go to, preferably, an almost inaccessible one, insert large rocks/bricks/stones (MAKE SURE YOU WEAR GLOVES! NO PRINTS!)
    and go out far enough in to the water where no one can accidentally stumble on it. Dump the bags in, (Note for above, use biodegradable ones, but tie the b.parts to the rocks so they don't float). Take the bag with clothes and take it to a remote location, but not necessarily out of the way. Caro-sine and gasoline should do the trick, Just make a fire and light up. Make sure you have a permit where ever you are starting the fire, god knows at this point you'd be going to jail for lighting an illegal fire. Anyways, once done, get back to your house and trace over everything, insuring it's spotless. no hair, no trace, no jail.

    Hope this helps remove your neighbor problem.
    10/19/10
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