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Adult Confessions | If-the-boss-only-knew |
If The Boss Only Knew
You know how the saying goes "When the cat is away, the mice will play." Have you ever back stabbed a co-worker, peer, or EVEN your boss? Do you involve yourself in political game playing, office manuvering, or one-upsmanship games to advance your job position? Are you secretly gunning for the boss's job? Have you setup a fellow co-worker to take an embarrassing hit? Have you positioned yourself as an expert in subject matter you know absolutely nothing about? Have you thrown a fellow co-worker under the bus to secure a promotion? Have YOU been thrown under the bus?

Maybe your office place dealings are more sexual in nature.. Have you been involved in an office place fling with a co-worker behind your bosses back? Did your office place sexcapades lead you to a promotion, or ultimately get you canned? Adult Confessions is the place to share all the juicy details. Your boss will never be the wiser! ;-)
  • — If The Boss Only Knew —
    Posted by Anonymous

    My boss is a beeyatch. TO get back at her and my employer, I steal hand soap, boxes of gloves, sodas from the fridge, unopened canned food from the fridge, and I throw away people's nonsense printouts from the office, like recipes and horoscopes. One time I printed a 200-page document for my wife entitled "how to suck cock" and I took it home. The fuckers here do hardly any work, come in at 8 when they're supposed to be here at 7:30, leave at 3:45 when they're supposed tbe here until 4, and take shitloads of breaks and personal days. Why can't I have a personal day? I work from 7:30 until 5:30 or 6, every day. 3/5 days I work late, until 7. I have to fucking get here at 7:30 to get a fucking parking space. Idiots next door take an hour lunch break. Girls in my office take 6-week vacations, one takes 9 weeks a year. I take 3. Where is the FUCKING justice? I go to the office fridge and take their yogurt cups and fruit and drop them down the stairwell. I steal beer and valuable food items from fridges. If you want me to stop, START PAYING ME MORE THAN $18,500 a year!! I have an M.S. from a reputable institution and I work 50-60 hours per week. If you don't want your shit stolen, pay me a decent fucking wage, assholes.

    #822 — Comments (7) — Aug 13, 2002 at 1:20 PM — That's Juicy! (0) Remove This.
  • — If The Boss Only Knew —
    Posted by Anonymous

    When I was the secretary/receptionist at a local company, I would wear a certain skirt almost every friday. It had an overlapping slit in front that curved like tulip peddles. It was a little short, but the slit was mostly closed when I was standing.
    I noticed that when I wore that skirt, the men in the office would visit and sit the guest chair at the side of my desk and talk. I thought it was just friday casual. One day I had a thought and placed a chair in front of my full length mirror at home before going to work on friday. I saw that when I sat down the slit in my skirt opened and gave an easy view of everything. As I never wear panties under a skirt, only shear to the waist pantyhose, or nothing in the summer it was quit a show. Suddenly I knew why all the attention on friday! I knew I was showing some leg and I liked the attention, but I didn't know I was leaving nothing to the imagination. That day I was very aware when the men in the office started to visit. At first I didn't turn my chair to face them, just kept close to my desk. As the day went on I found myself relaxing and would face them as normal. When they would look down I found that it was a turn on, and exciting but I pretended not to notice the looks. Needless to saw it became a friday tradition which waisted a lot of man hours, but made friday something to look forward to!

    #821 — Comments (2) — Jul 3, 2002 at 5:14 PM — That's Juicy! (1) Remove This.
  • — If The Boss Only Knew —
    Posted by Anonymous

    I work in a small company of about 25 people. There are about 10 ladies. We usually take out first break about 10am. Every month, there's this one lady that's always asking for quarters for the Modess Machine. She doesn't like to carry her own supplies. There are 3 stalls in our Ladies Room(one handicapped and 2 regular). She usually uses the same stall do change her pads(the Modess boxes are usually sticking out of the receptacle inside the stall. One month, when she was due for her period, we decided to play a trick on her. When that day came, she again did ask us for some quarters. During our morning break, some of us saw her buying a pad from the Modess Machine. After the morning break was over, that's when the fun began. While 2 or 3 of us were busy keeping a watch on her at her desk, about 5 of us went into the Ladies Room to play our trick on her. First of all, we taped Modess Pads all over the 3 stalls. At certain places, we put up signs that read "Take your Pick." Then, we put a little ketchup on the commode seats in two of the stalls. We placed an out of order sign on the other stall door. On the Modess Machine, we put on a sign that read Mary's Rag Box(Not her real name). Finally, the Ladies Room was ready for her. She usually uses the Ladies Room again, before she goes to lunch. Well lunch time came, and like clockwork, she headed to the Ladies Room. The rest of us were sitting at our desks. When she got inside the Ladies Room, she let out a loud noise. Some of us went to see what she was doing. When we got inside the Ladies Room, she was having a ball, picking off the Modess Pads from the stalls. Then she went into the stall, she uses the most. When she saw the ketchup on the commode seat, she started to laugh. She asked, if anyone else had there period. Two of the ladies said yes. Then she said, here's some pads. We all had a good laugh at her expense. She doesn't ask for quarters anymore, but she still uses the Modess Machine, just like some of us who are forgetful when that time of the month comes around. At least, one of her habits got broken.

    #819 — Comments (2) — Jun 24, 2002 at 2:32 AM — That's Juicy! (0) Remove This.
  • — If The Boss Only Knew —
    Posted by Anonymous

    I ain't no girlscout, but I made some cookies one day. There was this self imposed elitist click that thought they were so cool and so great. This was in the 80's, so you can imagine what they dressed like thinking they were all Wang Chung Tonight (Think Zappa's "Disco Boy" song) Anyway, this particular click really pissed me off. I bought some pepperidge farm cookies, the thin ones with the dark chocolate in the middle. Nuked them in the microwave a few seconds, peeled them apart, scraped the chocolate off, and instead added some Exlax that I melted via doubler boiler method (chocolate in a pot, pot in some hot water) and smeared the exlax in the cookies. Who'd know? I put the cookies back in the original bag and left in in the break room. There were 5 cookies loaded with the exlax, the rest were normal. That means about 3 bars of exlax per "laced" cookie. Sure enough, this click took their regular break at the same time, and helped themselves to the cookies. (It was very common for people to bring stuff in and share it with each other)(I did tell a few people I liked "do not eat the cookies" but did not say why) Later on in the day the cookies started to kick in, after everyone came back around one and two o'clock lunch.One of my targets was walking around rubbing his belly saying, "Oh man, I shouldn't have eaten White Castles- belly bombers" Another target (a woman) went up to the data entry manager (who I warned NOT to eat the cookies) and said, "Man, I've been wiping my asshole so much it HURTS!" The other target apparently did not get one of the GOOD cookies. other people did, though, like the credit assistant who shall remain nameless- this woman always ate watercress sandwiches, yogurt, or cottage cheese, oh what self-control she had, always on a diet and sticking to it, bragging about how she suffered and would like nothing more than to eat a bacon cheeseburger with fries, but oh, no, I can't, I'm on a DIET!!! That lady must have glommed herself a few of those cookies because she was out the next day because of diarreah. The credit manager must have helped herself, too, because she was overheard saying, "I had a cold, but I FEEL LIKE IT'S LEAVING MY SYSTEM NOW" Yes, the ladies' room stunk, but it was the sweet smell of victory. The funniest part is, two of my "targets" were phone sales people and were required to sit at their desk all day to answer the phone. If they had to leave their desk, they had to tell the receptionist why. "Gotta go shit my brains out again!" At the end of the day it was also funny- one of the targets did a peel-out of the parking lot in her new Camaro- guess she wanted to make it home before she shit all over her seats. That's what they get for messing with me. I may not be all-powerful, but I know your habits and thus can control your bowels. Ha ha ha How do you feel now, big shots?

    #818 — Comments (3) — Jun 15, 2002 at 7:58 PM — That's Juicy! (2) Remove This.
  • — If The Boss Only Knew —
    Posted by Anonymous

    A friend of mine went to college and learned computer programming. I work with a bunch of catty, bitchy, whining backstabbing immature assholish mother f#ckers. He told me how to access everyone's screen name and private code. I was able to send messages from one person to another, saying whatever I liked because it looked like someone else sent the message, not me. I was also able to change their job titles, and that was alot fof fun too. They still don't know who did it, and won't wither. Ha ha ha

    #817 — Comments (0) — Jun 15, 2002 at 8:18 AM — That's Juicy! (0) Remove This.
  • — If The Boss Only Knew —
    Posted by Anonymous

    I worked in a big office with a bunch of people. The women's room was always messy- people would leave used tampons in the toilet and not flush so the water turned all red. Some people would wipe their ass and miss the bowl, leaving the wad of toilet paper on the floor. We musn't forget the rainforest full of "lemon drops" on the seat. One day I took some hershey kisses, melted them in their wrappers under some hot water, molded them together to look like shit, smeared the chocolate on some wadded up paper to look like someone wiped, smeared chocolate all over the seat, walls, and the door handle and left it. Sure enough, someone saw it, ran around the office yelling, "Did you see the ladies room? There's shit all over the place!" Everyone ran into the ladies room like a panicked herd of buffalo to look at the "shit" They left a note that said, "Whoever made this mess, please clean it up" but I just left it. I didn't do it, nope, not ME.

    #816 — Comments (5) — Jun 13, 2002 at 4:48 PM — That's Juicy! (0) Remove This.
  • — If The Boss Only Knew —
    Posted by Anonymous

    A new manager joined our company- he played golf with the owner of the company. Like they say, it's not who you know but who you blow. He had to exert his authority in every way possible. A real Take Charge kinda guy. What an asshole. He made around $100,000 a year which boosted his already grandiose ego. I only made about $12,000 a year, slightly above the poverty level. This Big Cheese boss used to steal my half and half, even though it was in a brown bag clearly marked with my name. He used to help himself, even right in front of me, smiling, saying, "You don't mind, do you?" What could I say? He was the man who controlled my raises and bonuses. Since it was MY half and half, I spent $2.00 to get it, I put a decent amount of soap in it. When the Grandiose Tightwad helped himself like usual, I'm sure he had plenty of time to think about the errors of his theiving ways while shitting his brains out. In other words, buy your own half and half from now on, unless you LIKE soap in it.

    #815 — Comments (2) — Jun 13, 2002 at 1:18 PM — That's Juicy! (0) Remove This.
  • — If The Boss Only Knew —
    Posted by Anonymous

    Our new plant manager is an IDIOT! When he first started all he did was run around like he was in the United Nations trying to make everybody happy with everybody else. Every time somebody had a complaint, he wouldn't let it DROP until everybody said they were satisfied with the outcome. Even if it was a month later, all of a sudden he would pop up in person, or with an e-mail to ask if everything was ALRIGHT! Well HELL NO, IT'S NOT ALRIGHT! We've been backstabbing each other for years, and we don't need no dickhead to come along and make everybody kiss and make up! Why start now? For what reason? Somebody is gonna just stab ya in the back again over something new, so why the hell kiss and make up? Well, needless to say, everybody got this guy figured out right away, and we can't stand him, and since he is a friggin tightwad (we are on a budget now!), like huh? I've been there 20 years and never even heard the word budget before, so now we all make fun of him behind his back, because we say that he is such a tightwad, the seams in his pants are about 3" lacking in material! So, we call him Mr. Wedgie! Oh, what a friggin idiot! His got damn pants are wedged so far up the crack off his ass, he's got to be cutting off circulation to his brain hole! The guy won't last long, I am sure!

    #813 — Comments (1) — Apr 11, 2002 at 9:05 PM — That's Juicy! (0) Remove This.
  • — If The Boss Only Knew —
    Posted by Anonymous

    I gotta have one of the most thankless jobs there is! I am a foreman in a production factory, in charge of a bunch of foreigners who I can't understand, who only understand there paycheck! I am so stressed out and nobody gives a damn! Nobody! Just crank the stuff out! Well, I just sneak off into one of the closed off parts of the factory, and smoke myself silly! (NO smoking allowed where I go!) I can't stand going into the lunchroom because I gotta smell all the roadkill those losers eat, and listen to their stupid high pitched chatter! They talk so damn fast they outta get speeding tickets! And I am supposed to kiss their butts and make them all HAPPY:), so nobody files discrimination charges! Go figure! I am the one being discriminated against! And I was born and raised here! HELP!

    #812 — Comments (1) — Apr 11, 2002 at 6:35 PM — That's Juicy! (1) Remove This.
  • — If The Boss Only Knew —
    Posted by Anonymous

    Now that I'm a responsible, 24 year old mom, I look back and can't believe what a huge jerk I was.

    These sweet Christian folks hired me to work for them in their hockey pro shop when I was a senior in high school. To begin with, I should have never taken the job. I was so tired and already had way more than I could handle. On top of impending graduation and keeping my grades up, I played the ever-so-time-consuming sport of hockey, I played softball after school, I got a new boyfriend, and now I was taking on this job.

    For the job, I had to commute. I had to get up at 3:30 am on weekends to open the shop for early games. Countless times, I slept right on through my work start time (I would get calls from my boss-"Uh, did you sleep in AGAIN?") but the times I did make it to work, I was dead tired. So much so, that once, I had drifted off to sleep on the on the customer service counter. I woke up to tapping on my shoulder. These two hockey players were standing above me, laughing, saying, "Wake uuuuup!" They had to wake me up to pay for some skate laces!!! I felt so embarrassed and scared that they would tell my boss, but they never did.

    On top of that, I destroyed many players' skates in the skate sharpener. The automatic machine was always broken and despite the complaints, it was never fixed. So,that was not my fault. Ironically, that's all my boss ever yelled at me about, was the bad skate sharpenings-the one thing that wasn't my fault!!

    One thing I enjoyed was pulling my boyfriend at the time, who was also a hockey player,too, into the back room for heavy make-out sessions....yes, while there were customers outside.

    The worst thing I did, though, was when these people came in to get completely outfitted with gear. This was a major sale, and I thought, "This is how I can prove to everyone that I'm a good worker." I went and spent about 2 hours educating the people, a husband and wife, about quality hockey gear, correct fit, all that mumbo jumbo. I was pretty proud of myself-I had just raked in a $1,500 order. We had those old style credit card runners, where you do it manually on a carbon copy receipt, and it gets signed, etc. Well, I had filled out all the necessary info on the receipt, called the card's service number to make sure the card was good, and I FORGOT TO RUN THE CARD THROUGH THE MACHINE!!!!! Yep, after all that, I didn't get their card number on record, and they were "nice" enough, not to come back in to let me know I had made a mistake. I basically GAVE away $1,500 in brand new, top-of-the-line hockey gear, and did not realize it until they were long gone outta that store.

    The day after this, I quit, because I knew once they found out, I'd get fired. I have never gone back to that shop out of sheer humiliation. Hopefully, when I have enough money, I'll send them a check for the money I screwed them out of!!!

    #808 — Comments (1) — Mar 14, 2002 at 4:00 AM — That's Juicy! (0) Remove This.
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