My Family..
Who doesn't have an Uncle Bubba, with the beer belly and obnoxious belching, or the Aunt Petunia with the bright red lipstick and too-tight pants? We all have at least one person in the family tree we'd all wish would be plucked.
This category is for all those stories about loud aunts, drunk brothers, slutty sisters, and flatulent uncles. If your relatives would make a good comedy routine, then we want to hear about them.
Who doesn't have an Uncle Bubba, with the beer belly and obnoxious belching, or the Aunt Petunia with the bright red lipstick and too-tight pants? We all have at least one person in the family tree we'd all wish would be plucked.
This category is for all those stories about loud aunts, drunk brothers, slutty sisters, and flatulent uncles. If your relatives would make a good comedy routine, then we want to hear about them.
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— My Family —I hate my brother and his wife.
She was originally my fiancee but my brother had an executive job and I was still in college at the time, so she dumped me and married him THREE DAYS LATER! She even brags about the six months she spent planning the wedding! THE BITCH WAS PLANING THE WEDDING WITH MY BROTHER WHILE MAKING ME THINK WE WERE STILL ENGAGED FOR SIX MONTHS! And my family says that "carrying a grudge isn't Christian!"
That was twelve years ago. But I am getting my revenge. And like their betrayal, it's subtle and long-term. I live two blocks from my brother and the asshole thinks nothing of getting me to babysit his son and daughter. I don't hold the kids responsible for what their parents did - punishing children for the crimes of the parents is a Bible thing.
I've been educating the kids my way. All i ask is to keep it secret. they have no problem with that since their parents punish them for all sorts of things. So we're bonded together by secrets against their parents.
At my place, they have no chores, can watch un-Christian movies, and run around naked. I've also given them the most explicit sex education materials I could find. One of the sex education materials I gave them was a porno videotape their mother made with me when we were still engaged. They haven't looked at their mom the same way since!
They keep their comic books and video games at my place, since their parents won't let them have either. My niece keeps the clothes here that their parents don't approve of, especially her thongs. And I've bought her some hawt clothes that lots of girls wear to the mall but that their parents wouldn't like, along with makeup.
They get spanked at home for punishment regularly, at least once a week so that, in their father's words, they "don't grow slothful". I spank them, too, but I make it a game. They have fun being spanked at my place. We play a lot of sex-games but I didn't start that. I never start that. But they've always felt comfortable starting that sort of thing with me. I wanted to avoid it at first but I gave in when I figured out that it would bond us even closer together.
My niece and nephew have lost all respect for their parents. They call them "fuckheads" and "asshats". They laugh at their parents' religion behind their backs. They sneak over to my place to relax and have illicit fun. And they're not even teens yet!
My brother's kids are already more mine than his. They asked me how to make a hidden folder on a computer, I taught them how, and they've taken pictures of themselves in sexy poses that they've started hiding on their father's computer (I didn't think of that, they did!). They're also been stealing their dad's pot for my use. When they get older I'll teach them how to pack a bong.
The three of us have also found out that their mother is cheating on their father with another woman, and we have the pictures to prove it. We're still trying to decide how to use it; my nephew wants to blackmail her into doing some of the things he saw in her sexy video, while my niece wants to break up her parents' marriage. I haven't decided yet.
My brother and sister-in-law are hypocrites, bastards, and lying scum. And I've made sure that their own children see them for what they are and hate everything they stand for while laying the groundwork for their ruin. And I feel GOOD about it. #9212 — Comments (1) — 8/29/2010 at 4:51 AM — That's Juicy! (3) — Lame (0) -
— My Family —my sister lives with me b/c she has a drug problem and cant get on her feet. one night i came home and she was passed out with a needle in her arm. so i had my way with her. #9167 — Comments (0) — 8/15/2010 at 11:42 PM — That's Juicy! (7) — Lame (1)
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— My Family —When I graduated high school my dad threw a graduation party for me and let me and my friends drink. I got really drunk and was out in the kitchen talking to my dad who was also a little tipsy. He was telling me how proud he was of me and came up and gave me a hug. I don't know why, but I started kissing him. He seemed surprised for a minute then started kissing me back. It was without a doubt the hottest thing I have ever experienced, I was instantly wet and ready to fuck him there in the kitchen with all my friends in the living room. I grabbed his hand and put it on my breast and that's when he pushed me back and said we shouldn't be doing this and we were both drunk. He went to his room and didn't come out the rest of the night.
The next day he sat me down and we started talking. He was talking about how we rarely saw each other while I was growing up and that we were both drunk and he wasn't mad at me and he was sorry he kissed me back. The entire time he was talking to me I was practically dripping because I was so turned on. Things were kind of of awkward for a few days where he wouldn't hug me or anything and I felt guilty as hell about wanting to have sex with him.
A few nights later he was watching "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" and asked me if I wanted to watch it. I sat down on the couch and within minutes I was cuddling with him. I was getting so horny that I reached up and touched his face to turn it to me. He said "no, please don't" but I reached up and started kissing him again. We started making out and about 30 minutes later we were fucking like rabbits on the couch.
That was last year, shit was really awkward at first, we'd have lots of talks about never doing it again, but would usually end up fucking as soon as the conversation was done. We've pretty much both accepted it now, and 3 months ago I stopped taking my birth control pills. I'm 2 months pregnant now and honestly I couldn't be happier. He has an old copy of my birth certificate where it says Unknown for father and we are talking about getting married. #9166 — Comments (0) — 8/15/2010 at 10:23 PM — That's Juicy! (2) — Lame (5) -
— My Family —There are Secret Churches; small sects that have doctrinal and traditional differences that they hide from the public for their own survival. Every sect and faction in modern faith had it's beginnings like this, even secular humanism.
I was raised in a Secret Church that we call the Seven Families, founded by my ancestor Rev. Smith in 1831. His followers - his four brothers, sister, two cousins, and their families - are our founders. We still exist, almost two thousand of us. I still number myself among them despite the fact that I'm what you would call "lapsed from the True Faith".
Several of the Tenets of Faith are rather fundamental. Jesus is the Son of God, dying for our sins and conquering death in the Resurrection. The Trinity and Original Sin are papist inventions designed to distract man from God with endless nonsense arguments. Some parts of the Bible have been re-written by the Corrupt Church but God's Word could not be entirely suppressed by human actions; therefore when two sections of the Bible contradict each other, the oldest is always correct. Direct quotes of Jesus are divinely inspired. This makes it becomes easy to discern what parts of the New Testament were false, namely everything written by Paul, whom we call the False Prophet. These parts were actually well-received by Rev. Smith's congregation in the 1820's.
Then Rev. Smith received a revelation that got him hanged and burned by a lynch mob. The basic revelation was simple. God is the Father of All; Jesus is the Son of God; Mary is the Mother of Jesus; therefore Jesus is the product of a father and daughter union.
At first Rev. Smith could not accept this revelation as it contradicted secular beliefs and customs. Then he looked at the Bible more thoroughly. Leviticus 18 forbids and defines incest. And in every case, it defines incest by the actions of the initiator; the passive partner is not considered to have sinned.
By the definitions of Leviticus 18, the oldest section dealing with the incest prohibition, initiating sexual congress with one's mother, step-mother, sister, paternal half-sister, granddaughter, step-granddaughter, aunt by blood or marriage, or the wife of one's son or brother is incest and forbidden, an abomination unto God. Initiating sexual congress with one's father, stepbrother, son, daughter, brother, half-brother, maternal half-sister, niece or nephew, grandson, step-grandson, uncle, aunt's husband, daughter's or sister's husband, grandparent, or cousin is not listed under the prohibitions and is not incest by God's Law. So God's union with Mary, while a father and daughter union, was NOT incest.
Abraham took his half-sister Sarah as a wife and was blessed by God. Lot produced sons with his daughters and was blessed by God. Onan was ordered to produce a child with his brother's wife, refused, and was struck down by God. Moses's parents were aunt and nephew and he was blessed by God. And who did the sons of Adam and Eve marry?
When looked at with Leviticus 18:22 in mind, which specifically forbids one to "lay with mankind as with womankind" - and it becomes obvious that the forbidden acts apply chiefly to acts started by men. Exodus 21 says that a slave woman is considered the wife of her owner. So while the Man is given dominion over the household, the Woman as the one with the most sexual freedoms and the bearer of children is given dominion over the sex life.
The revelation to his own family went shakily at first, but it was soon accepted. The women of the Seven Families were the ones who made the Sacraments of Love that worshiped God. Traditions developed during this time, such as the belief that the brothers and sisters of Jesus mentioned by the Apostles were His children by His mother Mary, and that Leviticus 18:22 did not forbid oral sex between men.
When Rev. Smith tried to preach his revelation, he was martyred. The Seven Families moved West but kept close contact. Our Family Bibles traditionally list our real geneaology from 1800 onward. There were problems at first that faded away as bad genes were dropped from the gene pool. For a small group we actually have fewer defects and retardation than the general population.
I grew up in a normal home. No one watching or visiting would think there was anything odd. We were forbidden from talking about sex as it was "vulgar" to publicly discuss such things. When we went to bed, often someone else joined my parents but that was just "bundling".
Pri vately there was a lot of experimenting among the kids, but I don't think it was more than any other family. During the summer picnics there was a lot of open mutual masturbation and pleasuring (oral sex), where I learned who I could approach and who I couldn't and who could approach me. I also learned that I could say "no" when I wasn't in the mood. I don't even remember the first time I pleasured anyone but I was doing it from an early age. Birthday parties usually included some sexplay along with the usual games.
I had an adult party when I was 12, like a bar mitzvah among Jews, including having sex with my mother as a Sacrament of Love. I now joined the Sacraments of Love on the sabbath, which included ritual sex. As an "adult" I could invite other adults to "bundle" with me at night. I had relationships with my aunt and sister during my teens, but I also had girlfriends. When I was 14 my aunt gave birth to my son but officially he was my cousin.
I met a girl at college, married, and had a daughter. She blended in well and when we divorced she remained part of the family. I was never particularly devout and I began spending most of my time outside of family circles, leading to my "lapsed" status. I still eat kosher, though.
The Seven Families are like any other virtuous Christians. They have strictly defined boundaries in their practices, but the boundaries are different. So I've had to hide my family traditions and faith my entire life. #9148 — Comments (4) — 8/6/2010 at 5:54 PM — That's Juicy! (1) — Lame (0) -
— My Family —Ok my name is Caryn, I'm 20 now and I'm a horrible writer but I have a truly embarrassing story on many levels from when I was 16. I have a brother who is 4 years younger than me and we lived (and still do) in this 2 story house with a pool. My parent's window looks right over the pool. Well my brother had this really annoying friend, Mark who was 13, and he was sort of advanced for his age and was always talking about sex and stuff when my parents weren't around, and my brother was a late bloomer who just sort of put up with it but never contributed to Marks lewd comments about my body.
He was always "hitting" on me because I was an athlete and liked gymnastics but when I hit puberty my boobs got too big and they said it would be hard to compete professionally. They got pretty big fast and at the time when I was 16 they were 36D, so I just stuck to non competitive gymnastics.
We lived in Phoenix and it gets scorching hot early in the year around April/May all the way to September so our pool gets a lot of use, even in December there are days when you can go swimming, and I love to get tan by the pool. I'm a bit of a daddy's girl and a princess and always get my way and still have an attitude problem, but now, in retrospect, I can admit that.
So one day on my way out to the pool my attitude came out, I was wearing a two piece bikini, not a thong though, and Mark made some stupid comment about my tits hanging out of the top because it was an older smaller outfit, so I just freaked out, got fed up, grabbed him like Elaine did to George in the nipple episode of Seinfeld, and just smothered him in my breasts. I shoved him off of me as hard as I could, I was fuming, and he just sat there with a stupid ass look on his face and I said something like "There happy?!? Now leave me the F*** alone alright? It's not funny anymore." They were both so shocked they didn't say a word to me for weeks but that wasn't the most embarrassing part of this story.
Because of the breasts being too big for my top remark I decided to just get a new swim suit to tan in. So I asked my mom if I could get a new bikini online, my mom trusted me enough to buy my own clothes, and I decided to buy a thong bikini, my mom knew I wore thong underwear at my age, so I was sure she wouldn't mind since it would just be in the back yard. I just entered bikinis into Google and malibu strings was the first link so I clicked it, I was definitely wary at first because of how sexy they were, but I found a cool zebra print thong bikini and got it.
When it came in the mail I tried it on and was too embarrassed to wear it in front of my mom, it was way more revealing and sexy than anything I had worn before even though it looked and fit amazing. I decided I would try wearing it after school while they were at work someday, and then I would return it and get something less risque.
I got home from school one day my mom had left a note saying that my brother was staying at Marks for the night, so I quickly changed into the zebra thong bikini and decided to try it out. I wore it out back in my patio chair, and decided for the first time to go topless (I know stupid right my neighbors have two story houses too so looking back I smack myself in the forehead for being so stupid) but it must have been the bikini because I never did that sort of thing. Anyway I sunbathed for about 30 minutes back first and then 30 minutes front, then I put my top back on and went upstairs.
On my way to my room I noticed my parents room was open a crack and it hadn't been when I came home earlier. I peeked inside half expecting to see Mark trying to spy on me sun bathing but no one was in there, but the blinds were open as well and my parents never open their blinds because of the angle of the sun in their room. I called out if anyone was home and my brother answered, I went to his room and his eyes bulged, I forgot I was wearing the bikini, I quickly asked him why he was home and he said he came home because Mark got grounded for ditching his classes or something. I stuttered a reply embarrassed my brother had seen me in the sexy bikini and quickly went to the bathroom where I'd left my school clothes.
While I was changing into my shorts and shirt from school I noticed a lot of toilet paper in the trash that didn't look dirty, I looked closely at it and it was moist. At first I thought it was snot but it wasn't yellow, then it dawned on me what had happened and I flushed it all carefully without touching any more of it, not wanting to get me or my brother in trouble if my parents found out about what he or I had done. I never told my parents, but I kept the bikini and would wear it when I knew just me and my brother would be home alone. I never let my parents see it, and bought a less risky one with my allowance. I never told my brother about what I had found, and I still wear the bikini even though the top is way too small for me now, but I'm more comfortable with my body now anyhow.
#9076 — Comments (0) — 6/13/2010 at 4:35 AM — That's Juicy! (33) — Lame (5) -
— My Family —I recently discovered pictures on my Dad's computer of my parents molesting me when I was a baby. I don't remember any of this happening, and from the pictures, it was all when I was really little.
I don't know what to do. I love my parents, and they have always been good parents. I don't even know how to bring it up to them. I am strangely not mad about it, but I feel like I should say something to them. I have felt weird and awkward around them for the last three days. I have been avoiding being around either of them. Am I supposed to say, "Hey, Mom, I saw those pictures of you licking my pussy? What the fuck was that about?" #9060 — Comments (2) — 5/23/2010 at 12:16 AM — That's Juicy! (20) — Lame (2) -
— My Family —I'm 19 now and I have a brother who's 22. We have a sister who's older than both of us. When we were younger, she spanked him pretty regularly. She went off to college and I took over for her.
Most of his spankings were over my knee even though he was much bigger than I was. Even though he was taller and older, he still acted like a little boy when I reddened his butt with our sister's hairbrush. #9007 — Comments (0) — 3/30/2010 at 7:11 AM — That's Juicy! (3) — Lame (3) -
— My Family —i'm pregnant by Daddy again. my cunt still cums with the thought of it. This time i'm keeping the little imp. he'll know i'm knocked cause we been fucking every day the past two months! he sprayed in my mouth and said, swallow it if your cunt's full of my seed already. we both knew i was already pregnant with cock seed so i swallowed and licked and lapped him up #9002 — Comments (3) — 3/22/2010 at 6:27 PM — That's Juicy! (6) — Lame (8)
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— My Family —My sister is an alcoholic/drug user. My brother is white trailer park trash.
Noone else in the family turned out so completely opposite in every way. I don't understand them.
I love them and hate their behavior so much...all at the same time. #8964 — Comments (0) — 2/19/2010 at 6:54 AM — That's Juicy! (2) — Lame (2) -
— My Family —My family kinda sucks...on both sides. On my moms side if they had a family crest it would say "go ye for thyself" and me especially, i think there is some resentment directed at me cuz i resemble my father (who i no longer am on speaking terms with...) I think that fact upsets some of my moms family...but then again my father is a mental narcississ so it's not hard to un understand. I really wonder about my cousin's wife...she doesn't really seem to like anybody or try to become friends with anyone....whenever we have family dinners and she's there, she's usually quiet as a mouse. I mean she'll speak if u speak to her first, but she'll NEVER engage anyone in a conversation. I really don't have enough space to go off on everyone, but what i can say is how they all abandoned me when i needed them the most. I was homeless for nearly a year. From Oct. 03 - Aug 04. what fucked me up the most was the fact that I have several family members living in the same city i do. My moms, my pops, myy grandma, my uncle & 1 of my aunts. At the time any one of them coulda let me stay with them and they ALL left me hanging hard! In 2003 i got evicted from my spot and had nowhere to go. Some bitchass liar/con artist got into contact w/ my pops and said she was his long-lost sister and that i could come stay with her. I stayed there in Kansas City,MO for only a month and the bitch kicked me out for no good damn reason. Yeah I was smokin weed, but she told me she ain't have no problem with it as long as i was gettin out and lookin for a gig. Which i did EVERY day!!! After the bitch kicked me out she told my pops (which was prolly a lie) that someone came looking for me to offer me a full time gig, only 3 days after that stankass liar kicked me out. So i come back to indianapolis (hometown) and slept in a bus station, cuz i literally had nowhere to go. I called around and nobody would let me stay with them. I guess they all wrote me off and i nearly fell into the clutches of despair. I was battling depression every day that i was homeless. I ended up stayin in a shelter for several months until i couldn't tolerate being expoited anymore by the ppl that run the shelter. Seriously, they have those homeless men doing slave labor in order to stay in the Good News Mission, owned by a evil dickface named Dan. Fortunately, i was able to get out of that situation by signing up to go to Job Corps in Cincinnati. I know it's been 6 years since this happened but fuck this shit is just stuck in my craw and i don't know how to shake it. I have a lot of resentment toward my mother's side of the family, so much so that if any one of them ever became homeless and asked if they could stay in my spot where i have more room than i need, I would sharply turn them down and tell them what for. #8951 — Comments (2) — 2/8/2010 at 5:43 AM — That's Juicy! (3) — Lame (1)