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Adult Confessions | My-family |
My Family
Who doesn't have an Uncle Bubba, with the beer belly and obnoxious belching, or the Aunt Petunia with the bright red lipstick and too-tight pants? We all have at least one person in the family tree we'd all wish would be plucked.

This category is for all those stories about loud aunts, drunk brothers, slutty sisters, and flatulent uncles. If your relatives would make a good comedy routine, then we want to hear about them.
  • — My Family —
    Posted by Anonymous

    one year i went to my sisters concert. well me and the rest of my family sat down. about 10 minutes in to her concert my littler sister yelled out my sisters when she saw her an stage name so the whole gym could hear. after the concert she told me that she wished she couldve melted into the floor.

    #3297 — Comments (4) — Oct 27, 2004 at 10:59 PM — That's Juicy! (2) Remove This.
  • — My Family —
    Posted by Anonymous

    I am expecting a New Year's baby. We've been thrilled except for one issue. I really hate both my last name and my husband's.

    My last name happens to sound a lot like an obsene phrase if you say it too fast. I've suffered years of humiliation as a result. School was hell and even now, as a thirty-year old working in a law firm, co-workers still tease me. My mother admits that it is terrible and that she actually cried when my dad proposed because she knew she'd end up with his name.

    Growing up, I couldn't wait to marry so I could ditch my last name. No such luck. I married a man with a horrible last name. My husband's last name is difficult to spell and pronounce. He also hated it as a child and thought about changing it, but his mother said it would break his father's heart. I kept my horrible maiden name because it seemed senseless to exchange one horrible name for another.

    So here we are with these terrible names and a baby on the way. I got an idea a few weeks ago to let our son (It's a boy acording to the sonogram) have a fresh start with a different last name. We had three first names that we really liked: Alexander, Jackson, and Bailey. At the same time, we couldn't decide whether to use my husband's last name (awful) or a hyphenated combination (worse). So I suggested we give him two as a first and middle name and one as a last name. (We still aren't settled on order). My husband loves this idea.

    I mentioned this plan to my family at Christmas and they were scandalized. My in-laws had a similar reaction. They liked the names, but thought that the baby should have one of our last names.

    Does our plan sound wrong?

    #3278 — Comments (6) — Jun 25, 2004 at 9:35 AM — That's Juicy! (2) Remove This.
  • — My Family —
    Posted by Anonymous

    I am one of eight kids. When my parents' divorced, my youngest brother was just a freshman in HS. My dad remarried quickly (he was having an affair) and had a new baby eight months later. He moved to his new wife's hometown and wasn't involved in our lives anymore. Mom took the divorce hard and eventually felt she couldn't care for my brother. She asked my older sister to take him in. Sis kept "Chad" a year then kicked him out. He had gotten her 14 year old sister-in-law pregnant. Chad came to live with my older brother and his wife next. Within three months, he inseminated both the 17 year old sister babysitter and her 14 year old little sister. When Chad came to live with me (the last sibling who's married), I explained to him (a father of 3 at age 16) that this was a chance for a fresh start. My husband, the pragmatist, bought a huge supply of condoms and told Chad to use them. Nonetheless, not five months went by before an irate mother called us. Her fifteen year old daughter had had a miscarriage at school and said Chad was the father. He didn't deny it. Unbelievably, he was very upset about not getting to be a father again! He said he makes beautiful babies and always wanted a big family like Dad's. My husband wanted Chad to get a vasectomy, but of course we couldn't force him. So I arranged for him to get counseling instead. He met with our minister twice a week for eight months and really seemed to be improving. Then, to our horror, the minister's 16 year old daughter gave birth to a premature baby. No one even knew that she was pregnant (she hid it under baggy clothing)until she was in labor. The baby was Chad's of course. It turns out he had been sleeping with her since the first month of seeing her dad for counseling. I'd had it and I sent him back to live with Mom. He was gone maybe two weeks when a sixth girl wrote us a letter announcing the birth of Chad's son.
    Chad had 5 children and he's barely 19. He isn't supporting any of these kids. The girls are devastated of course and someday these children will have to walk around our town seeing their own half-brothers and sisters. People joke about our family going on Jerry Springer.

    #3271 — Comments (5) — Jun 11, 2004 at 1:31 PM — That's Juicy! (6) Remove This.
  • — My Family —
    Posted by Anonymous

    My mother just told me she's pregnant again. (I was the youngest, and I have one older brother). The thing is, I think it's my brother's baby. There's no other man in my mother's life, and the other day I walked in and saw my brother rubbing her belly in a kind of possessive way.

    It makes me feel really weird and ashamed.

    #3244 — Comments (22) — May 3, 2004 at 4:02 PM — That's Juicy! (12) Remove This.
  • — My Family —
    Posted by Anonymous

    Mama is stubborn, but I actually love her(Shhh). I love my husband Vint, but I despise my nephew-in-law Bubba, because I want to fuck him, he has such a big bulge...but oh- nevermind about that. That two-timing whore of a woman named Iola is trying to steal my hunk of man-meat..but that's another story. Doesn't my family suck?

    #3237 — Comments (3) — Apr 27, 2004 at 10:33 AM — That's Juicy! (2) Remove This.
  • — My Family —
    Posted by Anonymous

    My 67 year old mom is spending the nest egg dad left her on a 25 year old she met in yoga class.

    #3212 — Comments (19) — Apr 14, 2004 at 9:22 AM — That's Juicy! (9) Remove This.
  • — My Family —
    Posted by Anonymous

    i am a senior in high school, somewhere in indiana...my sister who is 27 is a total joke. she has lied to all my family since like forever. shes had one baby, but the first guy she married almost killed the baby, so she gave it up for adoption. he went to jail. the second guy she married was a psycho, and like killed somebody, so he is in jail. the third guy who she is married to is a loser, doesnt work...like her and is the father of my 2 year old niece. my sister and her husband have never held down a job for more than 2 weeks and have a rap sheet longer than a flag-pole. even more than that she is wanted in indiana, with warrants, and she is hiding out in texas with my little niece. what a loser. 27 years old, married 3 times....all losers. all i want is her to straighten up and be here for my graduation...legally.

    #3320 — Comments (0) — Mar 22, 2004 at 11:00 AM — That's Juicy! (2) Remove This.
  • — My Family —
    Posted by Anonymous

    My sister is 39 and still lives at home with our dad. She doesn't do anything around the house - it's a pig sty.
    She goes to school,but doesn't pursue any type of degree.
    She works in fast food places and has about 100 credit cards maxed out. The bill collectors call daily: my dad won't even pick up the phone anymore.
    How can anyone be so fucking useless?

    #3260 — Comments (5) — Mar 7, 2004 at 9:15 AM — That's Juicy! (2) Remove This.
  • — My Family —
    Posted by Anonymous

    I have 4 older brothers, and I am the youngest. My oldest brother, Larry, was hated by everyone. He was a cruel, mean bully and a coward. A classic case of dishing it out, but couldn't take it.

    I was much younger than my other brothers who were 14, 12, 10, and 8 when I was born, so they had to protect me from Larry, or "Apeman" as we all called him.

    He could never keep friends or a job, because he was such a jerk by reflex. He wasn't smart like all the rest of us in the family, and Charles, my second oldest brother was bigger than him by the time they started grade school (people thought they were twins, despite the fact that Charles was 2 years younger).

    Eventually he was murdered by one of his "friends" who just wanted apeman to leave him alone.

    I Was Glad.

    I was only 14 at the time, and he was 28, but he was a parasite, and he scared my mom. None of us bothered to attend the trial for the guy that killed him, but if I had an opportunity, I would had plead for clemency.

    I cant remember any nice things that he ever did for me, but I can remember countless cruelties. On the occasions when he comes up in convesation, and people want to get sympathetic about his death, I tell them not to bother, he deserved it.

    #3228 — Comments (1) — Mar 6, 2004 at 8:59 PM — That's Juicy! (2) Remove This.
  • — My Family —
    Posted by Anonymous

    Make it good - confess the worst your family has to offer.

    #3211 — Comments (0) — Mar 6, 2004 at 7:03 PM — That's Juicy! (2) Remove This.
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