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Adult Confessions | Out-of-the-closet |
Out Of The Closet
Coming out of the closet is never an easy thing to do. Where you forced out by an unfortunate circumstance? Did you come out on your own terms. What and how did you finally come out? To who?
  • — Out of the Closet —
    Bi-Sexual Male / 31

    When I divorced my wife and we sold our house I built a new house. The builder's realtor/agent was the nicest lady who made the process a pleasure == even when there were issues. I had been in my house several weeks when one Saturday evening my door bell ran and there she stood. She came to give me a personal update regarding a landscaping issue. When I invited her in she asked if her husband could some in as she had told him how nice my mom decorated my house and she would like for him to see. She motioned him in and out of the car came her two kids and her husband.

    I was in my foyer so I didn't see him get out of the car but when he stepped up on my porch my heart skipped a beat because he was the married man me and my friend had tag teamed many times over the last few months. We acted like we had never met by shaking hands as she introduced us to each other. The kids were adorable, like both their parents, but I had to think mathematical equations to keep my hard dick from protruding down my pants leg. He is, without doubt, the hottest, wildest, kinkiest ass and fuck of my life.

    We have rotated his ass and mouth for hours and I have cum all over his body. He likes to hold a guys dick while he pisses and he will lick the last drops off. The harder you fuck his ass/mouth the hotter he gets and the more he wants. Talk nasty to him and he shifts into overdrive. I've seen him blow his load and never touch himself and when he does his entire body quivers, shakes as he gasp for breath. He says he also had internal orgasms and will suck my dick out of his ass or the other guys ass. I/we've pissed all over him and even pissed in his ass a few times.

    He begs my friend to find him 4 or 5 guys to tag team him for hours. I am above average and he loves it but he really wants a big one. He told us a college basketball player use to fuck him with a 10 incher all the time and he loved it. Said the first man he sucked was a well endowed preacher who lived near his grandparents and taught him how to satisfy a man. If I ever meet that preacher, I will thank him from the bottom of my heart. Not a double in my mind he is one of the hottest, most erotic, kinkiest, wildest fucks/sex of my life - and his wife was my realtors/agent and now he knows where I live. Unfortunately, he can never come to my house since his wife is the realtor/agent for this new subdivision. For some time with him - I will spring for a hotel room any day, any time for as long as he wants. Did I mention he is very, very masculine and good looking?

    #38379 — Comments (1) — Dec 11, 2017 at 4:49 PM — That's Juicy! (9) Remove This.
  • — Out of the Closet —
    Bi-Sexual Female / 29

    I got married at 19 because my boyfriend was finishing graduate school and that way I could move with him and finish college where he took his job. He traveled a lot, over 50% of the time, and many times he was gone from Sunday night to Saturday morning and then on the road again the following week. Having a young wife at home he was pretty jealous and called me most every day, and left no doubt that I was not to have any close relationships with any guy. I was lonely and felt abandoned and cried a lot when I was alone.

    I was a commuter student which didn't help. I went to class and when I was done I went home to my apartment. When he came home for the weekend he wanted immediate sex and I felt used, he just had sex and I was supposed to do things, weird things, a lot of oral sex which I didn't like and he would try things, like tying my hands together and of course anal sex, lots of anal sex which I found disgusting, but he liked fucking me like that. I was sorry I had gotten married and I was depressed and my grades got so bad I was in danger of flunking out.

    I needed a tutor, which I found through the campus student help office. She was herself a grad student in Sociology and very pretty, and small like me. From the first session she called me sweetie, to get my attention she touched my hands, if she got up to get a glass of water she stood behind me at the table with her hands on my shoulder, she leaned over me, she would stare at my boobs, she ran her hand across my behind to straighten out my skirt. I was so stupid I didn't catch on.

    Our study nights were Tuesday and Thursday. On Tuesday she asked me when I had my periods, which I thought was a weird question, she said she was just comparing to see if we got our periods at the same time. She told me she thought I had nice breasts and that my husband must really like to come home and give me the treatment. She put her hand under my breast and cupped it. On Thursday she came over and she wasn't wearing a bra, her nipples clearly visible under her blouse. Her blouse was too small, her breasts were popping out and she kept saying sorry as she arranged them again. She commented how much trouble it was for women to have breasts, you loved them and you hated them, she asked me if I wanted to see them, seeing that they weren't all bundled up. She didn't wait for an answer, she opened her blouse and her breasts were in front of me. She touched mine, told me to let them out, to compare, to see how our breasts compared.

    She reached and started to unbutton my blouse, insisting that I show her, that I wasn't fair that she had shown me her breasts, until I finally opened my shirt and took off my bra. She started touching them, holding them in her hands and asking me to hold hers, she was all over them, she begged me to let her kiss them, when I got stiff and tried to cover up she put her arms around my waist and said that we had to become bosom buddies, and she managed to kiss me. She wouldn't quit, her hand went down between my legs and she said she wanted me and she knew that I wanted her. She fell to her knees and undid my pants, and pulled them down and had her face into me kissing hard trying to get her tongue in me.

    She walked me over to the couch and sat me down and told me that when she wanted to eat my pussy I was going to let her eat my pussy, that when she wanted to fuck me she was going to fuck me and when she wanted me to eat her pussy I was going to eat her pussy. She got naked, totally naked and I was totally naked and we went into the bedroom and she asked if that was the bed that my husband fucked me on, because now she was going to fuck me and I was going to know the difference, I was going to know who really loved me.

    I found out why she was beautiful, smart and engaging and did not have a boyfriend. I gave into her, that first night I was overwhelmed, but as the days went on I became more and more attached to her and we became close, close like I wanted to be with my husband but it never happened. I got to the point where I looked forward to making love with her, being with her, getting naked for her, and I got to the point where I liked giving her oral sex, I liked it a whole lot, and I liked her giving me oral sex and I learned that 'fucking' with her was about getting on me and grinding herself against me. One day, walking through an exhibit on campus, I kissed her on the cheek, I just needed to kiss her. When my husband came home he got all the sex he wanted, he could fuck me in the ass all weekend and I didn't care, stuff my mouth I didn't care, give me errands to run, I didn't care, the house was always clean and his laundry was always done and he always got a home cooked meal as I became a better and better cook.

    I finished my degree, I got pregnant and started my family, my husband continued to travel and I had my friend who was always with me, and my husband can't seem to see that she is a lesbian, he is blind to that, to him she is just a one of those liberal arts women who works in social services, a safe and a reliable friend who helps me with our kids and is company while he is out of town. That she spends Christmas with us, that she is devoted to our kids, he is blind to her. She opened up in me a part of me I didn't know I have. I am probably more lesbian than straight, but I love my husband and I am glad we have kids. I give him all the sex he wants, but if feel that I make love with her, and we make love, and like I said before, she 'fucks' me and that is when I feel fucked. And spending time with her is all I want to do. She knows that I am her 'wife' as well as his.

    #38327 — Comments (2) — Dec 7, 2017 at 7:28 AM — That's Juicy! (7) Remove This.
  • — Out of the Closet —
    Transsexual Female / 51

    I CONFESS!!!!! I'm a cock-sucking, sissy faggot, and I love it. It all started for me when I five. I was sitting in the bathtub, waiting for the warm water to fill up, when my Dad walked into the bathroom and closed the inner-bathroom door. " Want to see something cool? ", he then proceeded to remove his pants and underwear, ( he wasn't wearing a shirt ). Dad got into the tub with me, He backed his fat ass up into my face and I could actually smell his heavenly scented dried poop that stuck to the hairs on his ass. " If you rub your hands on my cock just right, it will grow like magic ". this I had to see for myself, Dad got into the water, his fat ass made the water rise a little bit, and then I sat on his lap, and stroked his cock, ( Dad told me to call it a cock, not a penis, calling your pecker a penis is for little kids ). His Cock indeed got a whole lot bigger, and when I gently squeezed his balls, a thick white liqui I stood upd formed on top of Dad's cock's head.

    " Oh, don't stop rubbing my cock ", Dad cried out loud. It was a good thing nobody else was home, this way, Dad could scream as loud as he wanted to. " Dad, Can I kiss your fat ass and try to suck the dried shit off of your asshole, Please!!!!! I really WANT to do this ",. " Of course you can," Dad and I stood up, changed positions,

    #38284 — Comments (1) — Dec 4, 2017 at 7:00 PM — That's Juicy! (0) Remove This. ( ** )
  • — Out of the Closet —
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    #38253 — Comments (0) — Dec 2, 2017 at 11:06 PM — That's Juicy! (0) Remove This. ( ** )
  • — Out of the Closet —
    Bi-Sexual Male / 47

    A lot to be thankful for....Thanksgiving night !

    I'm a 47yo bi, divorced father with a 21 year old son. Thursday, he and I ate Thanksgiving lunch at my parents along with 2 sisters, brothers-in-law, my twin, divorced, bi brother, 3 cousins and an aunt. My brother told me that later than night he has a date with one of his nympho female friends. He has shared many stores of her, their activities and their 3 some with a guy and her taking on 3 men once...which shifted her into overdrive. My brother and I have been fuck buddies all our lives - with each other, females and males. Because we are co-owners in a residential construction company we see each other daily and talk all the time - about everything as we are also best friends. Sometimes we go months and not touch each other or have a three way, but the other is never more than a phone call from hearing about the others activities.

    My son and I left my parents with covered plates, stopping off at Home Depot on our way home. We were watching TV when my brother called and said, "she wants to be tag teamed. Can you come over? Oh, bring your _____ (my son) its time we started including him." I was a bit put off with that suggestion, but my son, who heard the comments, smiled and said, "OH, HELL YEAH!" On the way over I told my son, we have been in the same house while the other had a date/sex in their room, but this would be different and anytime he wanted to stop, he could go to another room. My son had never been in a 3 way, much less a 4 some...he was excited.

    We walked in the back door and down to the media room where she was laying on her side and my brother was fucking her with a on the big TV. We both stripped, my son first, and I glanced at his hard cock for the first time and it was a mirror reflection of mine and my brother. Now she gets on her knees and the three of us stand with our arms around the others waist as she sucks one dick, then the other, then the other. Standing up while still bent over, my brother goes to her back side slides on a condom and rams it hard into her c**t. Her head jerked and she moaned shaking her head left to right....she was really turned on as she sucked me and my son. Then, my brother pulled out motioning me to take his place. I put on a condom and rammed mine in too... she was backing to meet my thrust. Now I am looking across her back as she is sucking my son, who has his head turned up savoring the feeling. After a few, my brother told my son to take my place...he proudly put on his condom taking his dad's place in her hot, wet, love tunnel.

    For the next how ever long it was she was tag teamed fucked in her pussy, mouth and finally her ass with each of us being in one of her holes...rotating holes and that nympho was going nuts. I laid on my back on the floor and she set on my dick facing my head. My brother stood over me and she sucked his dick while my son slide his cock up her used, gaping ass. I felt his nuts on top o f mine and felt my own sons cock just one thin piece of flesh from my dick and I thought I would blow for sure. I never imagined or considered having a 3 way with my son, but it was awesome.

    My brother paid on his back and she got over him, doggy on her knees sucking his cock. I went to the back and shoved my cock in her pussy. She pulled my son to stand over his uncles legs and she was now sucking him while my brother eat her and I fucked her. Then, she raised up off my sons cock reached around and pushed me back... out of her pussy. That is when my brother reached up and pulled my cock into his mouth sucking pussy juice of my condom covered dick. I head a slurp and looked over her back to me son who was looking down across her back, knowing his uncle had just took my dick into his mouth. My son was frozen with a blank stare on his face. Then, his twitching cock cough my eye as it twitched up and down like a rail road crossing. My son was turned on to his uncle sucking his dads dick and that is when I realized my son is me and my brother.

    She went back down on my son and he immediately screamed....raising his head as the cum dripped out of her mouth. At the same time I jerked off my condom shoving my raw dick into my twin brothers open mouth and white washed his tonsils. As soon as I pulled out he was eating her pussy...she squirted big time as she leaned down and sucked him to an orgasm.

    My son and I dressed and drove home without a word. When we got home my son said, "i had no idea you and uncle _____ were bi." I said, "I hope that didn't turn you off or effect our relationship." My son said, "So you ARE bi too?" I said, "Yes". He replied, "I didn't expect to ever be in a threeway with my dad, or uncle ____...much less learn that you are both bi." Actually, dad. Now, I'm jealous he got to suck you and not me." Was not planned, or expected just happened and so did me and my son having sex for the first time in our lives. We had to work over time on Friday, as well as most of Saturday. That night my son, my brother and I took our parents our to eat and afterwards my brother came to my house and the three of us had an all male threeway. My son had sucked a friend (experimented) before he ever had any pussy. As open as I have always been with him, his bisexuality he kept form me ...and I kept mine from him.

    #38182 — Comments (3) — Nov 27, 2017 at 9:19 AM — That's Juicy! (8) Remove This.
  • — Out of the Closet —
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    #38140 — Comments (0) — Nov 23, 2017 at 11:35 AM — That's Juicy! (0) Remove This. ( ** )
  • — Out of the Closet —
    Gay Male / 25

    As a new graduate with a degree in Marketing I got a job in outside sales for an agricultural equipment manufacturer. After my six week orientation about the equipment, I was assigned for six month training with an experienced sales manager. Our first outing was to visit several large corporate offices in the Midwest and make presentations of some of the newer models of equipment. He told me that the company policy was that salesmen on the road shared a room, I didn't know better so I never asked.

    Our first stop was in Cincinnati, an he booked us into this hotel in a room with two double beds. We went out and had dinner and returned to the room. With the television on he undressed and while I was watching television he walked around with in his undershirt but nothing else. I was laid back on my bed and he would come by and check his watch, and stand there with his penis hanging out under his undershirt. How can you not look? I looked, I guess I looked a bit too long. He caught me looking and when I looked up at him he smiled. He asked me if I wasn't going to get ready for bed.

    I got undressed, I slept in my boxers, so getting ready was about getting down to my boxers. I was in my bed and he sat on the bed beside mine, with his legs crossed and his penis laying there under this undershirt. It was impossible not see it. I mean, I was stupid. Never crossed my mind. Finally the lights were turned off and I turned over to go to sleep. He was in his bed and started talking about being on the road, no matter how long he had been on the road, it was always bad getting to bed, that is when a man needed company, and what did I think?

    What did I think? I told him I thought that a man always needed company, hell it was bad to get so damn desperate that you had to jack off to get relief. He laughed and agreed. He asked me how I jacked off and went on to describe how he jacked off, that he always traveled with some lotion, he liked to the feel of sliding his hand up and down his pecker in a tight grip. He said he had some lotion if I needed any.

    Then, just like that he stood up out of bed with his 'pecker' hard up under his undershirt, and picked up my sheets and got in beside me. He knew what he was doing, and he got me in a vice grip and with his hand hunting for my penis while he humped up hard against my backside. I had fucked a lot of girls, and as he was humping up against me I kept thinking that this is what girls must feel when a guy is going to get them, it felt both awful and good at the same time, his hand had managed to get my boxers down and his 'pecker' was going a hundred miles an hour against my backside, I felt like laughing, it is just that it felt so fucking good, I helped get my boxers off and as he pressed against me searching for my asshole he kept telling me I was really going to like it.

    His lotion was on the nightstand, and he reached for it and poured some into his hand and washed my backside with it and he started to push his 'pecker' in. I wasn't laughing, or even thinking, I was only enjoying, I didn't even have a hard on, just feeling his penis go deeper into my ass. I had tears in my eyes, not tears of pain, tears of what has to be pleasure, every movement made me want another and another as he went in and out and in deeper and out and deeper again, telling me that he was enjoying it, and he hoped I was enjoying it because there was nothing better than a good fuck.

    All good things have to come to an end, when it ended I felt cold when he pulled it out. He got up and went to the bathroom to wash up. After he came out he said it was my turn, and I went and washed up. When I came out he held his bed open and told me to get in, he was going shown me how much he liked me.

    I guess we all have queer inside of us, and with him I had a lot of queer inside of me. Week after week on the road with him, learning how to sell to corporate customers, learning about the product, all seemed to wash away, when it came to long blow jobs and showers together, lots of fucking, and more blow jobs. During those months I lost interest in my girlfriend, I just couldn't get up the energy to pay attention to her and fucking her just wasn't the same. What I liked was having her spoon me, I wanted her to be naked against my back. But that wasn't fun for her, she wanted me on top of her and not her on top of me. So we broke up, nicely, but the fire wasn't there any more.

    No, I looked forward to Monday morning, when we met at the airport and headed off to places like Ames, Iowa.

    It is just that I am more of a natural cock sucker and I can't get enough of his 'pecker' poking out from under his undershirt, to lean over and give it a good long suck and let him know I am waiting for him to get in bed with me.

    #38122 — Comments (1) — Nov 22, 2017 at 8:39 AM — That's Juicy! (8) Remove This.
  • — Out of the Closet —
    Straight Male / 47

    Hi my name is naked boy. I am a closet freak and im totally obsessed with my fantasy of being a naked dancing bitchboy crack ho anal/oral doggystyle gangbang slave.

    I want to smoke like a fiend after getting drunk all day then get naked and dance on atage for strangers while they throw change at my shaved oiled hot nude ass.

    I am soo stupid, every time i smoke the shit i power smoke it untill its gone and i become a total freak.
    The shit makes me crazy. I get nude and my shaved cock practically disappears but idont care cause i feel euphoric, like a bitch whore.
    I have such a sexy body and hot little tight shaved ass and my long blonde flowing hair reaches the small of my back, from behind i look like a fuckin hottie and feel like one too when im high and have a turtle head scared pecker.

    I want to be gangbanged and id love to rub oil on myself head to toe while dancing nude on stage untill being manhandled and publicly humiliated like a piece of meat twink by some well hung studs in front of people i know as they heckle me and taunt the men to do me voilently pulling my hair and slapping my ass cheeks beet red as they pull a train on my cocked up gaping ass and drooling gulping mouth.
    Mmmmm mmmm mmm.
    #please baby please!
    Weird huh? Across my chest"I love 2 suck cocks", and "goo guzzlin fool".
    "Nude dancer"and naked slave" also on my belly.
    "Fuck me",Anal Slave,and Sperm bank"across my shaved ass cheeks.
    Ha ha is that queer or what!?!
    I have put up to 50 temp tats all over me at once on top of that also.
    They were sissy glitter ones like faries, hearts, flowers, ect. Anything feminane and i stuck them provocivatly in between the degrading phrases. The few craziest times i was completly covered, shaved neck to ankels and even had shit like "prison bitch, throw me to the n****rs, soak me in jizz, and please gangr**e me".
    I love the taste of balls, ream my pussy, manhandle me, ect, basically any and everything nasty i could think of. I would doll up with hlush, masscara, eye shawdow ,lip gloss and nail polish too.
    Looking like a total slut then add costume jewelery.
    Necklace, waist chain, ankel braclets, Imagine the euphoria i felt looking that way covered like a slutty punk bitch!
    So i would do shots and small hit for hours dancing in mirrors shaking and spanking my ass raw and filming myself.
    Id get soo high and numb i would usually ride the fuck outta a fat wooden shovel handle for hours.
    Sometimes id set up a cucumber system on rotissararie spines, front and back where id get on all fours and simulate throat ass r**e, but willingly. Id down a shot, do a blast, then deep throat that veggie gagging and slurp sucking, wishing it was a juicy cock while riding the hard pickle behind me eventually making it dissappear.
    Oooh it felt soo good and i would get wild crazy fast wanting it to be real.
    I never have acted on my freakis desires beyond that i suppose out of shame and embarrassment, but since the smart phone age have watched lots of porn while humping my memory foam pillow with my ass spread wide and hiked up high.
    I mean Jesus!!!,some of that shit is unreal. I know i love women, but i must be bi cause when i see a petite lil small tit clean shaved tight ass honey, like sasha grey in gangbang brunette for example, taking and loving a dozen or so smooth cocks in every hole and every position being passed around like a piece of raw meat for the beat red pounding and she loves it soo much that she degrades herself and the punishing studs as they are brutally ruining all her delicious holes, i just want to be her tag team partner and do EVERYTHING, and have anything done to me.
    What im saying is that i desperatly want to be her in a remake of "Gangbang brunette" as a nympho naked bitchboy twink dolled up excessively as i stated earlier and call the remake "Gangbang blonde naked bitchboy" duplicating the long version precisally substituting the DP scenes with double anal. FUUUUCK MAN, TIE ME UP AND RAPE MY HOT TIGHT VIRGIN ASS AND GAGGING THROAT TILL IM TOO SORE TO WALK BURPING UP CUM AND BEGGING FOR MORE JUICY SALTY DELICIOS MEAT LOGS AND CREAM!!!! MAKE SURE U DONT FORGET TO SLAP MY ASS CHEEKS RAW AND LEAVES HAND PRINTS ON THEM BOTH AS U SPREAD THEM APART TO THURST ME VIOLENTLY,AND FOR GODS SAKE, PULL MY HAIR WHILE YOUR NUTTING IN MY BITCHBOY HOLE FOOL!!!!!!!!

    #38030 — Comments (1) — Nov 16, 2017 at 9:56 PM — That's Juicy! (1) Remove This.
  • — Out of the Closet —
    Lesbian Female / 51

    I am 61 and she is 60. We have been sharing a room and sleeping in the same be for forty years. For the first twenty years we did not think of ourselves as being lesbians. Far from it, we were just shoved into the same room and bed by the man we lived with because that is the way he liked it. He lived in another room, but sex was always in our room in our bed, and very seldom were we ever alone with him. To him sex was never complete unless we were both there. We just thought this is how we were supposed to be.

    We got together with him at a time when a man did not ask permission, he took what he wanted. She and I were new roommates, we had started work for a large company and the HR department had lined us up and we had rented a two room apartment close to work. He was a guy we met a dance hall. After dancing with me he took me outside and screwed me in the parking lot and then took us home and screwed me again and went to her room and sent her to sleep with me so he could have her bed. That is how she and I ended up in bed together. At the time I had a full size bed and we were on top of each other, so we ended up spooning to sleep and I woke up with my arms around her and my head on her chest and she was holding me because she didn't want to wake me.

    He screwed her after breakfast. It wasn't very ceremonious, it was a wham bang screwing. But she got screwed by him. He moved in, he took over our apartment, moved us into one room and one bed and took over the other room and he set us up to cohabitate with him. I know we were young, we were 20 and 21, and we were getting screwed twice a week, he took over paying the rent and we used his car to get around. The only sex in his room was when we went to give him a blow job if we had messed up and we were asking for forgiveness. We didn't know it at the time, we thought we were falling in love with him without realizing how we were falling in love. We were together in one room and one bed and the best part of the day was when we snuggled up to sleep and had pillow talk. By then he was back in his room, we were alone and we lay side by side and whispered until I turned over and she put her arms around me and we went to sleep.

    This was the time when our friends and coworkers were getting married, having babies and living in the suburbs. We lived in town, convenient, but far away from girls our age. We begged him to move us to the suburbs, we would get jobs out there and he would commute, but that is what all the other men did. We just wanted to be around other women our age and we wanted to have our own babies. It was a crazy time, we called him in to our bathroom and dropped our birth control pills into the toilet and flushed them away, He was put on notice. I got pregnant first and she got pregnant two months later. We moved to the suburbs into a four bedroom house, he bought us a car of our own and he commuted into to town. After our babies were born we quit work.

    Most every one was from somewhere else, we made friends through the babies, it was an accepting time and some women we got close with asked questions, but mostly we just blended in. We turned 30 with four kids.

    The day we crossed the line, he was traveling out of town on projects, he was gone a lot in those days, and the kids were a handful., We took a bath together that night, which we did often, we got ready for bed, and as I did a lot of times, I put my arms around her and my leg over her and snuggled on tight. I wanted her to hold me tight. I started to caress her breast and I felt like kissing her and put her nipple in my mouth and started to suckle on her while she caressed my face. We kissed that night, a long long kiss, and a thousand small kisses, I straddle her and sat on her and held her face and kissed her. We kissed fifteen years of being together.

    That broke the ice, we started to kiss every night, to hold each other out in the open, to start and show and share affection at all times of the day. It took five years longer before we acknowledged that we were in fact lesbian. Maybe because we were forty. Maybe because the heat with him had slowed down, we were having sex a couple of times a month. Maybe because being lesbian was no longer such a bad thing. We used the word with him, we asked him if he thought we were lesbians or something like it. He surprised us and said he thought we had to have some kind of connection like that, he always knew we were connected. By then she and I were totally comfortable being sexually active together. We didn't just kiss and touch, we made love and we expressed our love for each other.

    We are grandmothers now, and after he retired we moved to Santa Fe, New Mexico. He is in his early seventies, and we give him the attention and affection he deserves. He has supported us for all but one year since we first met. For these forty years our sleeping arrangement has been the same, he has his room and we have our room. We know now that that first morning when we woke up together and it felt so good to be in her arms that there was something queer about us.

    #37956 — Comments (0) — Nov 12, 2017 at 9:17 AM — That's Juicy! (3) Remove This.
  • — Out of the Closet —
    Straight Male / 25

    Hey everyone, id like to come out of the closet tonight, well not about my sexuality, rather my secret addiction to cocaine that ive hidden for the last month and where it has taken me and what has happened thus far.

    It all begins at the end of my last relationship, I had noticed when she landed a new job that she was starting to distance and this was breaking me minute by minute but I never wanted to accept or even believe in this truth. I then did everything I could to be as nice, loving and loyal as I could but nothing was working. Every day she would talk about guys at work and what they did from them which really got me nervous. I didnt even know what to think of this.

    On The Big Day,
    I had just arrived home from work like any other typical day and sat down to relax putting on some TV. My phone rang and it was my Girlfriend who was calling, Excited I answered the phone but Immediately I knew something was off, she seemed different, a strange vibe over telephone static and silence. What happenes next is where it really hit me as she said " hey, I need you to leave because I have friends coming over, please go somewhere... anywhere.... I need you to leave" I didnt know what to say other than " What? Why ? I cant really go... " so whats the big deal right ?

    We have never been apart a single day and neither of us had wanted to be apart. I listened in silence over the phone as this conversation rolled onwards, she said once more " please go " and thats when anger struck and I hung the phone up as my heart was pounding out of my chest. I had cut everything we made together or that i gifted to her up. Notes on the fridge I ripped up and threw on the ground, pictures as well. I had everything packed and gone before the next hour came.

    The next day She flew off to another state for a business trip * this i know is true * and spent days there.
    During this time I didnt believe it at all, this wasn't real as we had a few arguments before that were iffy but repairable. While she was gone I hungout with my friends thinking everything was okay but as days went on I heard nothing from her. The day of her departure back to our state I knew by heart, and that night I spent hours looking at the night sky just hating that she was up there with the starts and night sky that i have forever held so dear, I hated her for polluting the night skies beauty.

    When she arrived home I got a devastating wake up when she called me, she was acting vvery very distant and mean and was treating me like a stranger when I was crying like my own child was just murdered in front of me. I begged and begged her sobbing but she didnt hesitate and said " ive gone to far, goodbye ' She blocked me on social media, she blocked my number and texts, she completely blocked me and i never spoke to her again.

    Days, months went by and I was pretending I was okay as I even got into a new relationship believing that I was over her. I was partying and having so much fun trying to get her out of my head and thats when one day I ran into the guy at the party with Cocaine. I wished I never met him but the sad reality is this is where my addiction starts.

    After trying his coke, a few days late I was trying to buy more and convinced myself that I was only doing this because I was going to a Rave/EDM concert. I missed it, and stayed home with the Cocaine in my bedroom. Looking at the Gram I was scared to even try it knowing how addictive it was. None the less I proceeded into trying a sniff/snort/hit of the Cocaine. I thought " This isnt bad " and hit bump after bump after bump until it was gone.

    Waking up the next day I thought how beautiful it was that I was self destructing and metaphorically speaking, killing the me that loved her. So I went and bought more Cocaine, one Gram after another until I was buying 8 balls.
    Never stopping until they were gone. It got so bad that my coworkers knew something was wrong and started paying attention to the things i say or have said. My family watched me as I drastically lost 100 pounds in a short period of time. I was blowing money on Cocaine and having fun doing this not really giving a fuck about responsibility, besides... im already broken and twisted inside anyways as the few days after the break up I had become seriously suicidal measuring ropes at work to hang myself with from the rafters in the garage and I came so close.

    Now, Its not even about the self destruction or any beautiful metaphor written over a broken heart as it is now a full blown addiction.

    im not sure where to go, and I know I want to quit.
    she was the reason why my heart broke and the reason why I wanted the old me gone, the one who loved her.
    the new me? cold, broken, lost... that good looking guy over there who you can tell has been to hurt to ever open up again and not to mess with because thats just bad news....

    #37879 — Comments (5) — Nov 8, 2017 at 2:27 AM — That's Juicy! (2) Remove This.
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